Hmmm…so far, I've read the first three chapters.
Here are my thoughts if I were your editor:
Chapter 1: It's alright, but not very engaging. The main character just goes to Ghost Home and just looks like he ended up there. You don't need to explain everything about him, but it should look like that he wasn't there just by accident. Try expanding on the flashback just a little bit, maybe connecting it with Ghost Home (like there's a poster or something in his office).
Chapter 2: The Jubilee girl's temper seems slightly cliche and forced. The main comment I have, however, is that the audience doesn't need the guy to comment that the symbol on the rug is the same as on his hat. The reader should get that just by looking, especially if we see it over and over again.
Chapter 3: I think you dropped the ball a little when Nishi explains the Odd Ends. I know that they're supposed to be a new factor and all, but it would probably be more visually appealing if we got some silhouettes or something of them as they're being explained. Like a backdrop to the text about them. It would be more interesting to look at than Nishi explaining it or just a white panel with text in it. And yes, I know the reader sees one at the end of the chapter, but it would still be an opportunity to build up whatever destruction they might cause or what the more threatening ones might look like.
Chapter 4: No real comments there. Not too bad.
Chapter 5: I like the idea of news monitors being available to watch. Has its own little charm.
My two main complaints are:
1. The stuff on-panel looks a little confusing, and you don't need the text 'returned to normal size' if it would be more better for you as an artist/storyteller to draw it either shorter or retracting.
2. The white panels of text. All I can say is get rid of them. You can keep the text, but it would be much more fulfilling if you drew into those.
Overall: I think the story is good, but it's going to need some work. I like the premise, though.[/hide]
Thanks for the criticism, i'll take what you say to heart for future chapters. When it comes to those huge blocks of text, I do that because i'm lazy i'll admit, i'm not very good when it comes to imagery, hell I had no idea what the ODD ENDS looked like when nishi was explaining them. I do have this current arc planned out just some stuff isn't fleshed out as well.
Say Gepp, why do you use facebook ? Wouldn't Deviantart be a little easier to use ?
I don't like Deviantart that's why, lol
I like it. When I do my comic, I have a bad habit of making my chapters too short (4 pages…), so I just do a big, run-on comic...But you're good with pacing and stuff, I think.
Thank you, I never see my pacing as good, granted I don't think i'm a tite kubo, lol
Okay i read a bit of it and thought the story is okay.
But you definitely have to draw the charas and the stuff whats going on more accentuated, because sometimes the backround is so overloaded that you can barely see whats going on.
Maybe I should make the characters a little thicker. I just hope it's not too confusing like Yatsuhiro Nightow…than again he's one of my many influences.