Warning! New Country Approaching

JERK DISEASE

In case you haven't memorized your African geography yet I have bad news, because there's a new country on the way. That's right, Africa's long painful experience with figuring out why the fuck Europe made their borders randomly cut out shapes has resulted in some more sorting out of the whole damn mess with the splitting of Africa's biggest country, Sudan, into two!

The last new country we got was Kosovo (no matter what any Serb and Greek users might want to say to the contrary lol). And that was 2008. This new country is pretty similar in more then a few ways.

The new country to be? Southern Sudan, or at least that's what they intend on calling it I guess. Kind of uncreative I dunno. And I don't know if Sudan normal will keep calling itself "Sudan" or now "Northern Sudan".

Anyway it's all gonna be voted on (independence) this coming Sunday, and all observers including the bitter North are pretty much in agreement that independence will be voted for.

Some Facts too kno aboot are new friend:

Capital: Juba
Infrastructure: Shit!
Oil: Plenty!
People: Various tribes, namely Dinka.
Why they Leave: Because the big mean North and them have nothing in common except a gross imbalance of influence in the government and infrastructure, and the North wants to keep the region under it's thumb for resources and all that (oil and water). North and South are culturally and religously different too which always makes things cool. So no this is nothing like Korea.

here's what it should look like, so update yer books! and get ready for some future conflicts
http://media.economist.com/images/images-magazine/2010/09/25/ma/20100925_mam983.gif

Robo Gorilla

Damn it, Africa! You already had too many countries for me!

leo.mysterio

I wonder if someday everything that was caused to Africa before first world war will be finally solved.

Sakonosolo

This thread is awesome.

I wonder when Africa will have thousands of individual countries. I await the day.

RPGJay

Suddenly, middle school kids trying to study for geography tests just broke into tears.

JERK DISEASE

@leo.mysterio:

I wonder if someday everything that was caused to Africa before first world war will be finally solved.

Colonialism's a bitch.
I mean people like to go BLARG BLARG BLARG DARKIES AND CHINEES AND PAKIS CANT DEAL WITH IT YOU DONT SEE WHITE PEEPLE HAV THIS PROBLEM, MERICA' WAS A COLONY

And then you point at the Balkans, Northern Ireland and former USSR and they shut up, just like that!

Cyan D. Funk

Fuck it let's just erase the lines on the map and start over with Africa.

JERK DISEASE

That would be a great idea, but the various governments don't want to lose the level of control and resources they might have due to current borders.
I mean there was an awful loooong civil war or two over this conflict alone.

Also can someone with photoshop skills take a picture of various Yugoslav war pictures and shop Urkel wearing a fez saying "DID I DO THAT".

Sakonosolo

Give an empty map of Africa to a preschooler and roll with that.

killerbee1000

Oh yay, more african conflicts.

JERK DISEASE

You can do the same with other colonial wars. Sudan for instance could have Urkel in a bowler hat or beefeater hat. The Koreas could have Urkel with a samurai helmet. And Vietnam could have a french barret and mustache wearing Urkel.

You might say this is just an excuse to dress up Urkel but you'd be wrong, it would be really educational for kids.

Cyan D. Funk

@JERK:

That would be a great idea, but the various governments don't want to lose the level of control and resources they might have due to current borders.
I mean there was an awful loooong civil war or two over this conflict alone.

Is there a single part of Africa that isn't completely corrupt/fucked up by Europe.
@Sakonosolo:

Give an empty map of Africa to a preschooler and roll with that.

Chad's borders would be in the shape of a kitty cat.

JERK DISEASE

@killerbee1000:

Oh yay, more african conflicts.

This is actually fairly happy news, so long as the two sides remain civil this is genuine progress for the continent.

C_uggs

That´s good
now i can buy a new flag for my collection.
Now…serious
"North and South are culturally and religously different too which always makes things cool. So no this is nothing like Korea."
well,its africa..so i guess this is a good thing
fixing what europe "fuck it up"
as zephos already said
..."so long as the two sides remain civil this is genuine progress for the continent."
i also think like that..a progress for Africa.

Cyan D. Funk

Quick what clothing would represent the Berlin Conference as a whole.

Sakonosolo

Lederhosen .

Cyan D. Funk

@Sakonosolo:

Lederhosen .

Perfect .

JERK DISEASE

@Cyan:

Is there a single part of Africa that isn't completely corrupt/fucked up by Europe.

uhh… egypt? they skillfully dodged the worst excesses of colonialism (and even almost took over the Ottoman Empire from within) and then when britian tried to bring the hammer in the 50's over the Suez canal egypt fought them, lost, but made britain look reaaalllly bad and essentially provided the death knell for the British Empire for good.

And since then they've been a corrupt poor dictatorship pretty much all on their own :)

Also Botswana was given a shit deal with their borders, became completely ignored by fucking everyone, but is on the fast track to success all on their own.

Oh and Liberia which was turned into a shithole not by Europeans but by literal African-Americans.

ChesCa

~~Things Fall Apart~~ How to get things untangled.

Pochipochi

Go go progressive Africa!

Malintex_Terek

@Cuddles:

~~Things Fall Apart~~ How to get things untangled.

I saw what you did there, good sir.

Sakonosolo

Africa feels insecure about itself so it's trying to get as many countries as it can.

KaizokuFan22

guess there no such thing as a current globe or map for now O.o

JERK DISEASE

@KaizokuFan22:

guess there no such thing as a current globe or map for now O.o

The best thing is this is a huge country changing, so people can't even be all "WELL SRBIUA ND A KASOVO ARE PRETTY SMALL SO WHATEV" and leave old maps unchanged.

C_uggs

so..this new country will have the pan-arab colors on the flag..
but i like the symbol and the blue

JERK DISEASE

Huh? No, not really.
The Northern Sudanese are culturally arab, not the South. The colors stand for things like skin color (black), nile (blue), land (green), etc.

C_uggs

I see
Thanks Zephos
and the south ?
what cultere they have?
pan african ?

Insider2000

Juba. The country of JuJubes.
[hide][/hide]

C_uggs

juba is "mane" (lion´s mane)
in portuguese

leo.mysterio

So juba in english is mane, I didn't knew this one, always good to learn new words that I might never use.

C_uggs

@leo.mysterio:

So juba in english is mane, I didn't knew this one, always good to learn new words that I might never use.

You see
Africa..
new country on africa..
the capital is juba
africa haves lion´s
and lion´s haves jubas
See the conection ?:ninja:

leo.mysterio

I see, africans… always making jokes...

C_uggs

Don´t call me a racist

killerbee1000

Once South Sudan does secede, the people there must celebrate in the streets with vuvuzelas!!!!!

leo.mysterio

I didn't want to call ya a racist, for real. :sad:

JERK DISEASE

@killerbee1000:

Once South Sudan does secede, the people there must celebrate in the streets with vuvuzelas!!!!!

They should probably harvest oil asap or they might starve and die of something or other.

I think long term if nothing major hits them, and they use their status as oil havers and position on the White Nile they could be great success. Long term anyway.

C_uggs

That´s okay,Leo.Mysterio
now africa have what ?
like 60 countrys ?

Nobodyman

Hooray, progress for Africa. Of course, at the rate things are going, by the time they finally become prosperous Africa will probably be divided into about 150 different countries.

Gotta catch 'em all.

Shandian

This is actually great news. South Sudan/Darfur has always been a miserable place to live if you werent muslim its about time they do something about it.

South Sudan has been almost in war like state for last decades when Khartoum has been spitting to the faces of southern tribes and not caring anything about them than its resources.

Khartoums current goverment is corrupted to the core anyway (nothing too unsusual in Africa) which its leader Omar al Bashir giving giant middle finger to the world and democracy generally and being one of most disliked leaders on the eyes of western leaders.

I think South Sudan has taken enough shit from the North over decades and I think this can only be a change to better.

Its not going to be a great place to live, its still be troubled by starvation,corruption and everyone being pretty damn poor, but atleast they are not getting f*cked up from the North all the time and are not constantly oppressed because being from diffrent religion/tribe (two main reasons why Africa is so unstable politically).

Nobodyman

To the tune of the Pokerap

I want to be the best
That ever was
To beat all the rest
And that's my cause

Botswana, Gabon, Congo, Djibouti
Malawi, Kenya, Uganda, Burundi
Seychelles, Rwanda, Libya, Algeria
Niger, Mali, Tunisia, Nigeria!

Catch 'em, catch 'em
Gotta catch 'em all

Africa!

Of couse, Yakko's World works too.

JERK DISEASE

@Shandian:

This is actually great news. South Sudan/Darfur has always been a miserable place to live if you werent muslim its about time they do something about it.

Darfur is a completely different region, and it's mostly Muslim.

JERK DISEASE

@Nobodyman:

Of couse, Yakko's World works too.

Yeah, if you want an outdated and bizarrely inaccurate run down that lists things like The Caribbean as countries.

Nobodyman

@JERK:

Yeah, if you want an outdated and bizarrely inaccurate run down that lists things like The Caribbean as countries.

Can't really blame it for being out of date. But yeah, I can't really defend it listing the Caribbean, Transylvania, Puerto Rico, Bermuda, Palestine, Crete (wow, they did make a lot mistkes) as countries.

Catchy as hell though.

Nami

@Sakonosolo:

Lederhosen .

you know, Lederhosen are only common in bavaria. A bavarian thing.
.. and there is a location in thuringia called "Lederhose", but well..

Dryish

I hope they get their independence without major conflicts.. Those few oil fields located in the South can turn into real issues pretty fast.

JERK DISEASE

@Nami:

you know, Lederhosen are only common in bavaria. A bavarian thing.
.. and there is a location in thuringia called "Lederhose", but well..

Yeah and no one wears Cowboy hats anywhere but several entire Germany's away from where I'm from but we take our lumps as they come young lady.

Now accept your traditional suspenders or I'm gonna have Kaiolino come in here and kick you with his wooden shoes while Sea smothers you with his rice hat.

JERK DISEASE

Oh yeah, today I'm gonna start driving from ct to georgia! a longer distance then many of your countries, usa usa usa!

remembers he's going to the deep south

uh….certain parts of the usa, certain parts of the usa, only only only certain parts of the usa....

please take me to germany..

Nami

Oh no. Not you again.

JERK DISEASE

I was in a Borders yesterday and heard some song come on singing about how happy some asshole was about going back to the south and it was so dramatically ironic I started to weep.

Kaiolino

Sorry, not available right now. Am completely stoned and have a date with a hooker.