I'm gonna try the gabzillaz approach on this chapter.
[hide]"But before I tell you about what happened, I want you to know a little more about who I am".
Oh, so NOW you decide to tell us the important stuff instead of that superfluous bullshit.
"I was brought to the leaf village to become a jinchuuriki"
Once again proving that fate, destiny and heritage do in fact define how successful you will become.
Huh, so Eddy from "Ed, Edd n Eddy" founded a village eh? Not too shabby.
For God's sake, the Senju and Uzumaki clans were related? The Naruto world is like one big incest orgy! (which actually would explain a lot).
"The Village of Longevity." Imaginative.
"Even today, the Eddy whirlpool symbol is used as a symbol of friendship and goodwill."
A symbol that looks like a toilet being flushed. Appropriate.
Born with a strong chakra. Yep, again, genes and heritage.
"My predecessor was also a powerful female ninja. I guess it was seen as appropriate."
I guess the same could be said for Naruto. BURN!
So her predecessor, who was also an Uzumaki (but apparently not related to her) married the first. Genes! Heritage! Selected by fate!
Yadda yadda yadda. Blah blah blah. Don't care don't care don't care.
"Before the beast can be housed we must fill the vessel with love."
"Naruto…you don't need to cry anymore."
I wish someone would tell that to Sakura.
"Madara did have control of the nine-tails, but it was only moments before his attack that it was still sealed inside me."
Hi! I'm Masashi Kishimoto! I'm one of the best manga-kas of this generation and I'm not making this shit up as I go! I swear!
"There is one moment where a jinchuuriki's seal is at its weakest...Childbirth!"
"The energy used to maintain the seal goes to nurture the child and is weakened thusly."
Yeah, that makes perfect sense.
And Third Hokage's wife gets the award for dumbest name ever.
Baby Sasuke. Ugh. I didn't think I would ever want to murder an infant so badly.
"He and Sasuke will be in the same grade! I hope they become friends!"
Ha ha! It is funny, because they will actually end up being mortal enemies! Ha ha ha!
"By the way...does it hurt? Like, bad?"
That is the stupidest question anyone has ever asked ever.
"Remember, we need to keep your birth classified..."
Classified?! You're walking around in broad daylight! I don't think you need to actually talk to anyone for them to figure it out!
Wow. I gotta say that birth looks quite a bit like a satanic ritual (which would explain a lot).
Lulz at Kushina's constipation face.
Madara shows up and he's pissed cause he wasn't invited to the baby shower.
Naruto get out! Nine tails stay in!
"Congratulations, it's a healthy baby boy of questionable sexuality."
And thus one of the most obnoxious and irritating shonen heroes ever is born. Hooray.
"Back away from the Jinchuuriki or your son dies at the ripe old age of one minute."
My favorite line in the whole chapter.[/hide]