To begin with, I am in love with Nami.
Friends, fellow fans of this great series. You all know what I mean when I say, "We have all fallen for a character in One Piece at some point in our lives." This is a fact that I know is true for so many of you. Be it Luffy, Nami, Zoro, Sanji, or whomever; be your gender male, female, or other - I know you have found love in the world of One Piece. You see Nami with her wonderful cheeky smile and you find yourself smiling back. You see her in your dreams, you hold her in your arms and tell her how much she means to you. Or perhaps you watch Luffy plow through a crowd of marines and you feel as if he is plowing through your very heart, reaching into you, eating your soul. It is a wonderful feeling. When you get this feeling, you feel sad, lonely, pathetic even. This is wrong. You are not pathetic. This is what I am here to say because no one else will say it. I am here to say that love for Nami or Luffy or Zoro or whomever is a beautiful and perfectly normal thing and you should announce your love with pride.
Yes, I am a man. A man of love. A man of sentiment. I am not a weird person. I may be naked at this very moment, but know this - I am highly regarded in many fields as a very attractive man, so should an image of me without clothes on come to your mind, let it be a good image.
Some of you have touched me. I speak of you now:
Greg: You, like me, are in love with Nami. You moved to Japan so you could feel closer to her and married a Japanese women for similar reasons, much as Oda did with his wife. You are a man very similar to me, one of remarkable loving dedication. I applaud you.
Al!naJames: You are in love with Zoro. I can tell from the way you discuss him and from your constant upbeat attitude. You are not an attractive person like me, so my guesswork can only go so far, but I have heard about unattractive people so I will assume this - you are very lonely and have scared away possible male suitors. You cry yourself to sleep pretending Zoro is holding you. This is a pity because Zoro finds you to be a very attractive women. You should be happy. I applaud you.
Buuhan1: Although you are a man, you are in love witth Black Beard. I know this. I have seen your conversations. I applaud you.
Thousand Lion-chan: You are in love with Hancock. I know your situation. You, like me, have never had one you could call a "girlfriend." You, like me, feel no need for real flesh. You see the Pirate Empress and you say, "This is all I need in life." and then you pleasure yourself to her image. I applaud you.
GoustiFruit: You are a sad story. I know. You love Robin, but you want more of her than a drawing can provide. You once had a girlfriend, but you left her for Robin. But you long to feel Robin. You want to touch her, to smell her. You will often go to sleep in the middle of the day in the hopes that you will dream of her. I weep for you.
e1n: You are in love with Nami too. You are a very sad, homely man. You depict yourself in your drawings as being handsome in the hopes of wooing Nami. I applaud you.
Many more of you have touched me. If I have not mentioned you, please do not feel left out. If you wait some time I may include you as well.
Nothing exists; even if something exists, nothing can be known about it. Even if something can be known about it,
GOAT SAVE THE QUEEN
