translation before RAW - now that's funny 
great thanks to Carlos Net!
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One Piece
Chapter 508: Isle of Carnage
CP9's Independent Report Vol. 16: "Everybody Has Fun Bowling"
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[Insert text: Gang's crew are all ready for battle!! Hm?! Wait a minute…?!]
Pirates: We're under attack~~~~~~~~!!! // Prepare to attack!!! / Ready the cannons!!! // Cavalry prepare to sortie! / Open gate!! // Gunners, provide support from the rear!! / Lower the drawbridge~~~~~~~~!! // Yaaaaaaahhh!!!
Horses: ne~~~~~~~igh!!
Pirates: Open gunports!! Cannons, open fire~~~~~~~!!
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Marines: Huh?
People: FIRE~~~!! // FIRE~! // BLOW 'EM TO BITS~!
Marines: What the…?! // There's something inside his body!!!
[TN: I guess he's called Gang for a reason… he [I]is one O_o]
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Marines: …?! // What?! It got bigg - // AAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!!! // What the...?! But he didn't even do a thing!
Pirates: Cavalry, CHARGE~~~~~~!!!
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Marines: What's going on?!!! // Something else is coming! / Out of his belly!! // Horses came out!!! / Out of his body!!! // These soldiers just keep coming!!! / Capone "Gang" Bege...!!
Pirates: Yaaaaaaahhh~~~!!
Marines: What kind of ability does that man even have?!!
Pirates: cough!! Father!! You're smoking us out!!
Gang: Like I said... your sheer military force can't match mine...!!!
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[Box: Shabondy Archipelago, Grove 27 Harbour]
People: Run for it!! Run for it~~~!! // Kizaru has arrived!! He's here!! // Hey, did you hear?! / Even the Shichibukai are on the move! // Seriously?! Which one of them?!!
[Box: Grove 24]
Urouge: pant… pant......!! // ...And there I was just watching out for the "Admiral"...!! // I wonder, could you possibly let me... / ...simply pass by Marine HQ peacefully...?!!!
Kuma: .........
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[Box: Over in Grove 24…]
Pirates: Come on, we have to run for it!!! // Captain Hawkins~~~~~~~!!!
Hawkins: "Battle"… probability of defeat...... 100%. // "Flight"... probability of success... 12%.
Pirates: Captain~~~~~~!!!
Hawkins: "Defence"... probability of circumvention...... 76%.
Kizaru: Could I perhaps have a moment.........? / I'm looking for a man by the name of "Sentoumaru"...
Hawkins: "Survival"... Probability of death......!!
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Hawkins: .................. // 0%. // I know no man by that name. / Try asking somebody else.
Kizaru: Oh, but well, you know~~... if I can't find him... / I just get... so bored, you know...? // And when I'm really bored... / ...I couldn't possibly just leave a bounty head like this sitting around... // ...Basil Hawkins.........!! // Speed is... "weight". // Have you ever been kicked at the speed of light?
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Hawkins: ! // !!!
Pirates: Captain~~~~~!!!
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[Box: Grove 27]
Pirates: Aaaaagh!!! // Huh?! / Hey! What's wrong?!!! // Oi!!! Something just happened!!! // He just started spurting blood from his head!!!
[Box: Grove 24]
Apoo: …...Such strength...!! / Hm? Is he about to do it again...? // !!!
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Pirates: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!
[Box: Archipelago Harbour]
Pirates: !! // Aaaaghhh!!! // Huh?!! // Hey…!! Wh... What wat that...?! This guy...!! He suddenly just turned all charred black!!! // Where did the attack come from?!!
[Box: Grove 24]
Hawkins: …...............
Kizaru: !
Pirates: Captain...
Hawkins: Impressive... You far exceed my expectations...
Kizaru: Now, that's weird~~~~~!
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Hawkins: ...I see it is unwise to attempt to face an "Admiral"... // ...with a mere ten men.........
Urouge: Aaaaaghh!!!
Hawkins: ?!
Urouge: Unghh...!!!
Pirates: That's...! ......"Demon Monk" Urouge... / .........and Bartholemew Kuma!!!
Urouge: pant... pant......!! / Damn... what incredible strength...!! // ?! // Don't tell me... is that... Kizaru?!!!
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Urouge: ...Ah, such misfortune I have...!! Before me, a Marine Admiral... behind, a Shichibukai... // pant.. / ......Is this... the end...?!
Hawkins: ...No, I would not say so. I see not the shadow of death over you just yet.
Urouge: Hawkins, from North Blue, eh...... Heheheh... // Jokes from an enemy... now that, I like.........!! // !
Kuma: ......... // ?!!
Pirates: What now?!! // Someone else has arrived!!! // It's Diez Drake!!! // But why?!
Kizaru: Rear Admiral Drake...
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Urouge: ...............!!
Drake: Damn... I never meant to run into Kizaru...
Urouge: Aaahhh......
Hawkins: !
Urouge: I've got myself quite beaten up...... but now it's time to see... just how far my ambitions go... // With a little counterattack...!!!
Hawkins: ?!!
Apoo: Wo~w!! Just look at what an incredible situation we've ended up seeing!! This is fun!!
Pirate: It's far too dangerous!! Those guys are all gonna die!! Surely this is our chance to run for it?!
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[Box: Grove 12]
Strawhats: Get back, Luffy!!! // That man's one of the Shichibukai!!!
Luffy: Shichibukai?!! // But… why do all of you know him?!
Sanji: Make sure he doesn't hit you with that attack!!! // His shockwave!!!
Luffy: ?!!
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Luffy: Aahhh!!
Franky: Nghhh…!!
Nami: What is this?!
Usopp: What was that?! I didn't know he could do a thing like that!!
Luffy: Hey!! That's not a shockwave at all!!
Chopper: That was…...!!!
Luffy/Chopper: A BEAM~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!
Usopp: THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE ADMIRING IT!!!
Robin: Bartholomew Kuma...!!! // But why...?!!!
Zoro: ........................!!! // That bastard...!!
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Luffy: Don't tell me he's the one who showed up afterwards, at Thriller Bark?!
Usopp: Yeah!! He's the one!! Back then, he used those "paws" on his hands... / ...to fire these nasty shockwaves that really had us beat!
Chopper: He was planning to finish us all off right then and there... / He must have realised he didn't manage to kill us, and come back to finish the job!!
Franky: This is payback for what you...
Kuma: .........
Franky: ...did to us back there!!! // COUP DE VENT!!!
Kuma: !!!
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People: ?!!
Brooke: Ahh!! / Luffy-san?!
Luffy: Gear... // Second!!!
Kuma: ...............!!
Luffy: I know you're strong... // ...so I'm gonna go all-out!!!
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Sanji: I guess there's nothing else for it...!! Last time, we were all worn out from fighting Oz... // ...but this time, we're in top form.........!!!
Zoro: .................. // (Something's not right...... He seems somehow... different from before... // A different "atmosphere"...!! Is it just my imagination.........?)
[Box: Grove 36]
Sentoumaru?: He's late… // I'm sure the battleship should be here by now... / Something's wrong... // Why doesn't he even contact me...? / Stupid Uncle Kizaru......!! // If he doesn't hurry up... // There's not gonna be anything left... // ...of any of those guys......!!
[Insert text: Kuma everywhere?!]