After.. forever (3 years?) I decided to start writing fanfics again, and thought that I'd post them here.
Title: Happy Birthday To You
Rating: PG(-13?) for Jyabura's potty mouth
Pairings: None, unless you count a clingy Kumadori
Genre: Lulz
Summary: Jyabura's birthday fails at life.
! Today is the first day of November.
! He could figure that out without having the use of calendar, normally due to the fact that he was horribly hung over and had the faint aftertaste of licorice still in his mouth. He never ate licorice, or any sort of sugar-coated treat aside from what he has been getting from the cafeteria for the past five years. So yesterday…
! “…Halloween.”
! So that would make today the first day of November. Again.
! “…Oh.”
! It was also Jyabura’s birthday.
! Birthdays were just another regular day down on the small judicial island, so they weren’t typically celebrated, except for Spandam’s since he decided to turn his into some sort of national holiday. (The only reason why they all even bothered showing up to celebrate was an excuse for having a day off.) Despite all of that, Jyabura woke up, like every year, with a huge looming shadow hanging over him. Before his eyes even opened, just the feeling of someone standing over him made his eyebrows wrinkle. The entire situation was predictable, but this year caught him a bit by surprise when he saw that the white painted face actually smiling at him.
! “HAAAAAAPPY BIIIIRTHDAY~~~!!”
! Then came a kick to the poor sennin’s face.
! “Damnit, Kumadori!!” he screeched, while the painted face’s expression turned into one that was shocked. “You’ve been doing this for, what, every year that we’ve been here?! Scares the shit out of me each time…”
! Kumadori’s facial expression then dropped into one of sorrow. “YOYOI~~~!!” was his response, his echo bouncing off of everything in sympathy. “I am so very sorry for disturbing you in such a manner! To make up for my honor, let me—”
! Jyabura groaned, and raised his hands in order to stop the next failed seppuku attempt. “N-no, don’t... it’s too early for this,” the wolf grumbled, despite that it was almost 11 AM. There was no verbal response as Kumadori raised up his sword, pointing at it as if he were saying ‘You sure you don’t want me to do this?’.
! “Yes, yes. Now go.”
! Once the melancholy giant was out of his room, Jyabura grumbled and made an attempt to actually get up from his bed. Just how many other people remembered that it was his birthday?
! ---
! Apparently, most.
! After having his breakfast of a mug of cold coffee, he made his way up to his room again to pick up a book which contained information for a mission that he would be later attending. On his bed were placed two items— a rather simple looking box, and a folded cloth with a card placed upon it. Gifts? For him? Couldn’t be, he hadn’t gotten any real gifts in years, except the ones that he’s rejected from Kumadori. It must’ve been more information for the mission. He opened up the simple looking box first, only to see both a catnip mouse and a flea collar in there. His eyebrow started twitching.
! “From your two best friends.” was what was written on the back of the box cover. Jyabura just simply picked up the entire thing and tossed it in a nearby waste basket. Next was the folded cloth and the card, which was probably another reject gift.
! The card was smudged, and even damp, with ink stains dripping down it and dark spots on various parts of the page. “This card is stained with tears; a tear for every gift that you’ve rejected from me. …Which is a lot. <3, Kumadori.”
! The gift was actually decent this time. A wall scroll with some sort of scribbly yet sophisticated looking calligraphy on it, with some random outdoor scenery on it and the image of Jyabura’s tattoo printed on the bottom. He thought that he would keep this gift, but made sure that he avoided Kumadori for the rest of the day to prevent any hysterical breakdowns of him not liking it.
! As he headed back down the hallway, he then passed by Fukurou.
! “Chapapa! It’s your birthday today, isn’t it?”
! “How’d you— …oh, yeah. So?”
! “I just thought that I would tell you something that you might be interested in hearing, chapapa.” Said the large figure. Jyabura didn’t respond but stared at him, which was his way of accepting whatever he had to say.
! “Rumor has it that Gyatherine was seen with another worker on the island. See ya!”
! –
! Next was a visit to the Chief to pick up some sort of document.
! “Your birthday? Oh. Um... Here. Now get back to work.”
! Jyabura had received a coat hanger made by the fine people from some unknown country called Taiwan.
! --
! “Sexual harassment.”
! --
! Another trip back up to his room, and there was a bottle of liquor this time on his bed, which made him slightly more content with his day.
! “No one deserves to take this much shit on their birthday, even if they are annoying. Have some booze.” read the small card that came attached to the bottle. Jyabura popped open the cork and took a swig out of it. At least Blueno knew something that he actually enjoyed.
Thanks to sasori_katana (on LJ) for putting together this idea with me. :3