Yeah, don't see why not. I share a lot of interests with my guy friends that I don't share with my girl friends. Guys love the gamer girls XD
Can a girl and guy be friends?
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answer: yes, if they both have another lover.
if, not, it's still possible but hard.
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You guys are all assuming by the question that someone would think otherwise. It's kind of like asking "do humans need water?" While everyone knows it's true, many people simply don't care to be friends.
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@Masta:
I'll be different and say that it should be avoided once you mature (a.k.a, puberty). Personal experience and religious reasons say so.
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Boys and girls at a young age definitely SHOULD be friends, but if it can be helped, they shouldn't grow up only relying on friends of the opposite gender. I grew up with 3 sisters and no brother, the families I grew up with had a bunch of daughters and a few boys. I grew up straight, but for some reason I always felt like guys had to prove they could be my "buddies" so to speak. It still has an affect on me know, and it's easier to talk to girls than guys for me.
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Relating to the "buddy" issue, if your interests and hobbies are similar, there is nothing wrong with a little companionship. However, since I believe forinication is wrong, I don't think it should be too deep, in other words not a "boy-friend girl friend" issue. Get married or grow up. Yes, this is a bold, controversial statement but hey: that's what I think. Whether we like it or not, we naturally become attracted to the other gender. For safety reasons, both mental and physical, it (companionship) should be limited. I myself have dealt with big problems relating girls who just want to get some and girls who seem to want love, but nothing truly intimate. It has an effect on your mind, and simply "dumping people" causes break-downs. I'm no love expert, but I know what can happen when people expect too much from each other and they are not legally bond.
Why am I talking about relationships…? That's what direction heavily involved friendships ususally take. The buddy system is fine, but imho, guys and gals (after hitting their mark in life) shouldn't get too involved to protect their own-selves unless they want to take the next step. You can always be a "big brother" to a girl; always be there for them, help them out when they need it, be a concerned pal. Again, my humble oppinion.
On the contuary, once people mature (as in not being raging hormonal teens) I don't think theres danger of relationships at every turn.
You seem to be taking your caution too far and not trusting…well anyone to do anything. Like the very presence of Girl and Boy near eachother is just pre-marital sex waiting to happend.
In fact I'm not really sure what pre-marital sex has to do with this anymore than anything else.
Part of truly maturing is not just seeing the opposite sex as potential mates, as you seem to be laying down hard here.Have a little more faith in people to not fall into such an absolute set of behaviour.
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Wow, yeah. I can count all the instances of "I like that too…wanna mate?" on one elbow. But then, I go to community college.
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Yes, a guy and a girl can be friends. Both casual and close. Heck, I've developed a very close friendship bond with one of my female co-workers. We care deeply about each other, but it's a brother/sister sort of bond, and neither one of us plan to make it anything otherwise. She's happily married, and I've had a girlfriend for over a year now. (A very very nice one I might add.) One must simply know their limits and not surpass them.
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a friend once told me that a very close friendship between a guy and a girl that claim to be platonic is impossible. because usually one ends up liking the other or the simple thought of it will cross their mind at least once or twice.
most of my close mates are guys. one of them is a guy who is madly in love with his girlfriend. and i'm madly in love with my boyfriend of almost one year, but to be truthful, i did use to like that friend of mine (before i was with my bf of course!). but the thought of liking my other guy mates has never crossed my mind, not even once! they don't even treat me like a girl so i doubt they'd ever think of me that way xD
contrary to what my friend thinks, i do believe that close boy-girl friendships are entirely possible. it just depends on who the person is. sometimes there are people that just click with you in all the right ways and you can't help but fall for them.
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However, can/should a man and woman who are not in a relationship (and one isn't gay) be really close, personal friends? It's not always a good idea. I can't say it's not impossible or always bad, but a lot of times men and women getting way too close and personal will end up finding themselves developing a attraction based bond whether they wanted to or not. This is how a lot of extra marital affairs happen.
it is possible without attraction development. you can be best friends with your brother or sister without getting too close. or with your cousins. i just mention this because i experience it this way.
i think it's up to how well and in which way you (got to) know a person and of course everyone reacts individually on friendships with the opposite gender. one cannot tell. -
It's very possible for that to happen, most of my friends are guys (Aye I'm female). I guess it depends on how you first meet the person, that might affect the friendship.relationship
I also have this friend who I've known since I was a fetus and I've reached the point where I want to be more than friends, but that's the thing, if he says no then the friendship is lost, bit of a bitch isnt it?
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Allow me to play Devil's Advocate….The Ladder Theory is pretty funny. Here's my favorite part
Back to the Beginning: Yes Virginia, They All Want to Bang You.
You'll note that a man has one ladder while a female has two. The man is lacking a "friends ladder." The man's ladder reflects the conventional wisdom that a man generally only wants one thing. That's because the conventional wisdom is correct. This leads us back to the conclusion that many women I have explained this to find so distasteful:
IF A MAN FINDS YOU ATTRACTIVE YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDSMany women want to argue this point and say things like " I have lots of guy friends." Maybe. There are exactly 3 cases Intellectual Whores has identified whereby a guy and a girl can be friends:
1. The guy is gay
2. The guy does not find you attractive.
3. The guy already has a woman much higher than you on the ladderEven Nietzsche knew this. Most guys know this intuitively. Most girls doubt. I have a challenge for all of you girls who still doubt. Pick a guy who does not meet any of the criterion on the above list that you think is your friend. Then ask yourself this question: If you were both alone at his place one night, and you excused yourself to the bathroom and came out naked and asked him to have sex with you would he:
1. Tell you he doesn't want to risk the beautiful friendship you have created with messy physical entanglements.
2. ComplyRemember this only works if you are honest with yourself. Number one is of course something that guys hear all the time. Intellectual Whores refers to it as the Kiss of Death. It is more likely that he will jump you eagerly.
It's a hilarious site http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html (warning for Mature language)
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I'm just fed up with that mindset.
I hardly found it funny to begin with.
That was maybe 7 years ago at that.
And people take it to such extremes.
I've heard this said before.
"Men complicate themselves by trying to be uncomplicated."
These guys who insist on the "FUCK EVERYTHING IN SIGHT" being true just…...Shut up.
Its like they never got over being 14.
Its immature behavior being justified and supported by people who would love to not feel like the disasters they are.
"Oh its evolutionary! Survival of the fittest!"
Yhea? Same with killing my competitors in my sequential arts class.
Your not a simple minded stimulus responding single cell organism.
Your a member of a species with billions of variables. That goes to the moon out of fascination. That throws paint on a canvas to make art for arts sake.
Grow. Up.And MOST of all, for comitting the biggest sin in Zephism. Speaking for every member of your race/gender/denomination/creed/etc.
Don't steal my self away from me.to ladder theorists
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I keep my female friends a safe and good distance by spontaneously blurting "boobies". They don't care at all.
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Of course guys and girls can be friends. My circle of friends is actually pretty evenly distributed between girls and guys, some dating and some single, and there's no problem with it at all.
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On the contuary, once people mature (as in not being raging hormonal teens) I don't think theres danger of relationships at every turn.
You seem to be taking your caution too far and not trusting…well anyone to do anything. Like the very presence of Girl and Boy near eachother is just pre-marital sex waiting to happend.
In fact I'm not really sure what pre-marital sex has to do with this anymore than anything else.
Part of truly maturing is not just seeing the opposite sex as potential mates, as you seem to be laying down hard here.Have a little more faith in people to not fall into such an absolute set of behaviour.
Well, two things:
-I was talking about teens mostly, since you wouldn't go up to a 35 year-old man (knowing how old he is) and say "Dude, what's up?" unless you're REALLY close, but that's another issue. Mainstream American teens do tend to think this way, and yes, I have met teenagers from different cultures and nations.
Relating to the first point, I have a cousin who got some girl pregnant, whom he thought he truly love, and now he's got to work his ass-off to take care of the new family. So yeah, I have reasons for thinking this way.
-Although it seems I'm slanting in one direction to the point of being horizontal, I'm not saying no one can possibly hang out with a girl he cares for and not think about hitting and quiting. Also, I trust a lot of people. And not just that way.
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@pirateneko:
Yeah, don't see why not. I share a lot of interests with my guy friends that I don't share with my girl friends. Guys love the gamer girls XD
whoo!
ya, people are people. Just because someone is a guy doesn't mean I wanna do it with him. O.o 2 of my roomates for example. tries to think of them in sexual mannor…. "eaw, no way. nuh uh, not at all" but they're great people. One guy is like my little brother. I always gotta ask what he is doing, or how things are going, and warn him to dress warm when the weather is going to be icky. The other, is a big geek like I am. He got me into Death Note, and Haruhi Suzumiya. I also find it cute how naive and sheltered he is.
Of coarse, there is that 3rd roomate, who is a really cool guy in a way that is compadible with CU. :P But she knows he is not interested, and things would just be wierd, so she tries to think of him as the brother she never had. (CU's real brother is mean)
oh, and I would just like to say to all you mean people out there who were teasing me cause I didn't get "rai's sarcasm" "um, told you I was right" (wonders if it's a phobia, or a cultural thing?)
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Since coming to college I think I've made the most friends from girls. Most college guys are pretty uninteresting (of course there's a good chunk of girls who are the same way).
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Males and female friends are equivalent in the eyes of Gohn, despite being heterosexual.
Add in a nigh non-existent desire to have any form of 'beyond friend' relationship, and there you go.
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The idea that they can't is extremely sexist so… I'll say yes, they can be friends.
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Yes.
In Kindergarden, I use to have a friend who was the opposite sex of me. We use to play house (I know he liked me but I don't remember if I ever liked him). We last saw eachother when I was in either 1st, 2nd or 3rd grade. Never saw eachother ever since.
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My best friend in high school was a girl and there was never anything more than that between us. She always got pissed off when people thought we were a couple.
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I have plenty of girl friends, in fact, I can honestly say I have more girl friends than I have friends that are guys. It's not a matter of can and can't, because every human has the capability of friendship implied in the word "can", it's just a matter of the willingness of the person to be friends with the other person. Whether it be a guy or a girl.
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Most of the people I hang out with are girls, but there's still a smaller group of boys with them too. I'm on good terms with all of them but I enjoy spending time with the four or so males. There's only one boy and one girl going out with each in the group.
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No doubt it's possible, of course, but not with me. As a kid most of my friends were girls but nowadays I always tend to generate extra feelings toward the members of more beautiful sex who are in terms of being friends with me. I guess I'm just retarded that way.
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Coming in from a different, locked thread, so my post may seem a bit 'off'…
I'm female myself, but I prefer hanging out with males as I find that I have more in common with them than I do with members of my own gender. I'm not really into all of that girly crap and the 'typical' feminine personality bugs the bejeezus out of me, so much so that I am something of a borderline misogynist. In all fairness, though, I'm pretty misanthropic all around so...yeah. There you go.
In any case, there are very few females that I consider friends and enjoy hanging out and/or talking with, whereas I have many, many, many more male friends and acquaintances. This also isn't a recent thing, as that's pretty much how it's always been for me even when I was all wee and junk.
Somehow I highly doubt someone could grow up in today's world and not meet at least half a dozen of totally despicable women, but who knows, maybe these guys are 6 or the identification with a certain manga character went a little bit too far.
I'm with Aldrich on this one. I don't want to generalise, but in my own experience I find that the vast majority of fellow females that I come in contact with leave me feeling nothing less than completely disgusted with my gender as a whole. I'm inclined to blame neo-feminism for a lot of that, but.
In regards to this actual topic, that being "can a girl and a guy be friends?", I think that the answer to that is a resounding "yes". This is obviously true in my own personal case, and I've seen it elsewhere as well. But, as always, a lot of it comes down to the individuals in question.
~ jj ~
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You know, I've never been a typical girl, myself, and I manage to find other non-typical girls to hang out with. I don't think gender has anything to do with lousy people. There are lots of lousy people out there, girl, and guy. There are also lots of nice poeple out there, girl and guy as well.
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Yes they can, I don't understand why there needs to be any complications because he/she is a guy/girl.
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Even maniacs have friends of the opposite. I'm sure Hitler has tons of.
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Even maniacs have friends of the opposite. I'm sure Hitler has tons of.
1. Maniacs don't have friends.
2. Hitler didn't have any friends.