I was browsing another forum and found a topic such as this.
Overall it was an interesting read, though the number of people subscribing to an iron Ladder Theory was a little annoying/depressing/funny.
So basically I'd like to see how you all feel.
Throughout this month, we will be testing new features (like search) so you may experience some hiccups from time to time. We'll try to not be too disruptive...
Can a girl and guy be friends?
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If you share the same interests, why not? If they are co-workers, and you like talking about the same things, why not?
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Why couldn't they be? My best friend is of opposite gender.
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Short answer: Yes. I know from life experience and anyone who says otherwise is stupid.
However, can/should a man and woman who are not in a relationship (and one isn't gay) be really close, personal friends? It's not always a good idea. I can't say it's not impossible or always bad, but a lot of times men and women getting way too close and personal will end up finding themselves developing a attraction based bond whether they wanted to or not. This is how a lot of extra marital affairs happen.
But can men and women be just friends, hang out, share interests etc.? Of course. But it's hard when one or the both is actually attracted to the other
Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible. - Frank Zappa
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I hope nobodies thinking I'm all "yo I heard this, seems like a myth, what do you think" :C
I'm firmly entrenched in the "of course" side. -
One of my best friends is a girl, and I'm pretty sure we're just friends.
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Personally, I do think that a girl and a guy can be friends, its illogical to think otherwise. I mean, not ALL guys are looking for sex, and the same goes for girls, sure they can be attracted to each other and all, but its still possible to be friends despite that.
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yes, i think it's possible without the two going to something more intimate.
one of my closest friend's a guy. i'm not his type. he's not my type either. :happy: -
Some of my good friends are female. So, basically, yeah.
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I'm going to have to go with the opinion here and say yes. Friendships don't have much difference bassed on gender unless the two are atracted to eachother.
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and besides…the male and female cant be lovers if both of them arent friends in the first place
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Whoa, you all better not be lying!
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I can't see why not.
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I'm friends with many males
..exept Rai. :E
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@Rai:
WHY?! O_O
EH?! IS IT BAD TO BE CLUELESS AT 14.7YO?! HUH?~(&%!#$%^&LEAVE ME ALONE!
Just wondering…chill out. You act way younger almost as if one day somebody told you girls had cooties and you seriously fell for it.
Girls like confidence, so if you piss yourself every time one says hi to you chances are they won't like you.
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One of my closest, oldest friends is a girl, and we don't have a romantic relationship, so I think it's possible
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Yeah of course. Girls and guys can be friends. Hell, one of my closes friends I met last couple of years is a girl and we both are like honar siblings to each other. And the main reason we became friends was because of One Piece and other animes. ^_^.
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Girls like confidence, so if you piss yourself every time one says hi to you chances are they won't like you.
Unless they're domineering control freaks who like subservience and demands that every single breath of your free time is spent with you, then yes, you're right.
bad relationship experience
But, as to the topic at hand, I'd say yes. I have more close female friends then I do male, even though I have more male friends overall. I just find it's easier to tell girls how you really feel and stuff. I suppose it's because of the whole "Men should act like stones" thing most guys exhibit at my age. But, yeah.
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I can't see why not. My best friend is a female, and most of my buddies are girls.
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@Rai:
WHY?! O_O
EH?! IS IT BAD TO BE CLUELESS AT 14.7YO?! HUH?~(&%!#$%^&LEAVE ME ALONE!
Replies the 14.7 year old.
Avatar provided by Ferntree on DeviantArt.
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Yes, of course it's possible. Although I imagine it's less problematic when neither of the two is an adolescent, and thus they won't develop sexual feelings towards anyone who pays attention to them…
Rugged individualist: treats the whole anime as canon
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It's possible, but it's difficult. As children, it's easy to be a good friend despite gender. There really isn't a huge difference between the two in youth. The problem comes in when both start to develop, and they discover that men and women are in many ways fundamentally different from each other.
Societal expectations, fundamental differences, sexuality, and pressure from other acquaintances are enough many times to tear a friendship apart. I recall having one friend who many girls absolutely adored. They thought he was the hottest thing since sliced bread, basically. I hung out with him basically all the time, and the girls made the assumption that because of this, we must have been involved in some kind of romance. In reality, there was no such thing. These girls were jealous as hell but often refused to confront me directly over it, expecting that something was "Going on" between us. I didn't completely shunt him as a result, but I did make it a point to limit my time with him publicly.
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@Le:
Replies the 14.7 year old.
lol i see what u did there, but i wont work if he switched back to the CP9 style XD
and whats this "iron Ladder Theory"? :wassat:
Brawl Name: Ramza
Brawl Code: 1805-1932-2783
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It is very much possible. I idea of it going further does probably enter our heads in some occassions but over time you can just 'be friends'. I know many women where I work and I can happily joke and have a conversation with them without thinking anything of it.
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Of course. Tho the feelings of friendship for the opposite gender increasing to love and wanting to push it further happens quite often, I find it oddly to find it easier just to be friends with someone who is exactly like you, and harder to not to fall in love with one who is different from you. But that's just me.
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Although it has been said before, sure. However, sometimes feelings may grow stronger than a friendship, but it may be best just to let the relationship be as it is.
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lol i see what u did there, but i wont work if he switched back to the CP9 style XD
and whats this "iron Ladder Theory"? :wassat:
Ladder theory.
Iron being me showing that its being treated like a law by said folks.
Its sort of pop psychology thingie about how the genders evaluate thier relations with members of the opposite sex.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ladder_theoryI think its a load of bull myself.
Namely those "nice guys". You know the type.
Who think acting like wide eyed sheep, talking quitely in small sentences usually comprised of "yes", and picking up fallen pencils are what it takes to win any girls heart.
Instead of y'know, personality, being a fun person, etc.
Paired up with the ol' false dilema of "WELL SINCE SHE DOSEN'T LOVE ME BECAUSE I LISTEN TO HER TALK WITH DOE EYES THAN I MUST NEED TO BE A HAIRY FUMING JOCK".And is Rai failing again?
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The ladder theory states that in the eyes of all women, "nice" guys never win. These "nice" guys are the male friends, but never become anything more than that.
Edit:Argh! Foiled again!
Damn you, Zephos!
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Yeah, I have female friends who aren't my girlfriend.
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Ladder theory.
Iron being me showing that its being treated like a law by said folks.
Its sort of pop psychology thingie about how the genders evaluate thier relations with members of the opposite sex.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ladder_theoryI think its a load of bull myself.
Namely those "nice guys". You know the type.
Who think acting like wide eyed sheep, talking quitely in small sentences usually comprised of "yes", and picking up fallen pencils are what it takes to win any girls heart.
Instead of y'know, personality, being a fun person, etc.
Paired up with the ol' false dilema of "WELL SINCE SHE DOSEN'T LOVE ME BECAUSE I LISTEN TO HER TALK WITH DOE EYES THAN I MUST NEED TO BE A HAIRY FUMING JOCK".And is Rai failing again?
ya, it does sound like BS..:getlost:
and lol, theres a forum for the ladder theory lmao
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The Iron Ladder Theory is basically just that men don't respect women, regardless of intelligence. We already knew that. Also, they have their own wiki? And I am totally creating a fake account on that forum!
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@Impel:
The Iron Ladder Theory is basically just that men don't respect women, regardless of intelligence. We already knew that.
Not even close, man. Try again.
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@Impel:
The Iron Ladder Theory is basically just that men don't respect women, regardless of intelligence. We already knew that.
Y'know, I don't really get the whole "WERE PIGS, YUP LOL" thing.
I see it all over the Gaia GD.
I mean…if you must throw pie in your face, please spare the rest of us inadvertently tied to you?For serious.
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The short answer is of course, but then there's always the assumptions. If I had a buck for every time someone thought one of my (female) friends and I were a couple, well I'd start importing games. ^o^
And wow, never thought there was any kind of theory like the Ladder Theory. Just that saying "nice guys finish last".
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**Of course a girl and guy can be just friends. It'd be stupid to think they couldn't.
And the Ladder theory looks like BS. I don't people who do anything someone else says nice, I call them stupid.
EDIT: And is Rai serious? I used to think it was all some kind of joke, but now I'm not so sure…**
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You'd think after all these millenia, people would stop trying to come up with a formula for relationships. You can't pigeon-hole all human beings like that. It may be true of some people, but not all. And it's always those really abnoxious people that want to make their idiosynchrosies the norm and all other differences abnormal.
I have typically made friends quicker with guys than girls, and many of them were far from the "nice guy" stereotype. My boyfriend actually is closer to the "nice guy". But he's also my friend, as we'd have to be to stay together for over 5 years.
The agressive badass types of guys always turn me off for relationships.There was a funny thing I read once that I wish I could find. A story about the guy with no backbone, who got tired of getting walked on so he stuck a stick up his ass for support, and then he finally got rid of the stick and grew a backbone and learned he doesn't have to be an ass nor let people push him around.
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Guy and a girl be friends? Come on, that's as crazy as saying we're not all standing still but actually rotating at an incredible speed within a gigantic vacuum.
Guy and girl be friends! That's crazy talk! You're crazy Mr. Crazy Talker!
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Yes, but not if a guy asks girl friend A out when they are friends then she says no. Well, they aren't as close friends as they were anymore, that and if they are they take some time off from seeing each other because of the awkwardness that would come from it. (Personal experience =/)
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According to internet sex logic, me and my roomates should be living a comedic anime harem scenario, wherein I am hit over the head alot after tiresome misunderstandings.
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^ (this was supposed to be after Zephos's post.)
Don't forget the obvious other girls next door where you just happen to see her tits and just when you do your roommate walks in and gets pissed because she really likes you deep down, but won't admit it, and now there is awkward slience in your room. -
I'll be different and say that it should be avoided once you mature (a.k.a, puberty). Personal experience and religious reasons say so.
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Boys and girls at a young age definitely SHOULD be friends, but if it can be helped, they shouldn't grow up only relying on friends of the opposite gender. I grew up with 3 sisters and no brother, the families I grew up with had a bunch of daughters and a few boys. I grew up straight, but for some reason I always felt like guys had to prove they could be my "buddies" so to speak. It still has an affect on me know, and it's easier to talk to girls than guys for me.
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Relating to the "buddy" issue, if your interests and hobbies are similar, there is nothing wrong with a little companionship. However, since I believe forinication is wrong, I don't think it should be too deep, in other words not a "boy-friend girl friend" issue. Get married or grow up. Yes, this is a bold, controversial statement but hey: that's what I think. Whether we like it or not, we naturally become attracted to the other gender. For safety reasons, both mental and physical, it (companionship) should be limited. I myself have dealt with big problems relating girls who just want to get some and girls who seem to want love, but nothing truly intimate. It has an effect on your mind, and simply "dumping people" causes break-downs. I'm no love expert, but I know what can happen when people expect too much from each other and they are not legally bond.
Why am I talking about relationships…? That's what direction heavily involved friendships ususally take. The buddy system is fine, but imho, guys and gals (after hitting their mark in life) shouldn't get too involved to protect their own-selves unless they want to take the next step. You can always be a "big brother" to a girl; always be there for them, help them out when they need it, be a concerned pal. Again, my humble oppinion.
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@Masta:
- I don't think it should be too deep, in other words not a "boy-friend girl friend" issue. Get married or grow up.
Whether we like it or not, we naturally become attracted to the other gender. For safety reasons, both mental and physical, it (companionship) should be limited. I myself have dealt with big problems relating girls who just want to get some and girls who seem to want love, but nothing truly intimate. It has an effect on your mind, and simply "dumping people" causes break-downs. I'm no love expert, but I know what can happen when people expect too much from each other and they are not legally bond.
Why am I talking about relationships…? That's what direction heavily involved friendships usually take. The buddy system is fine, but imho, guys and gals (after hitting their mark in life) shouldn't get too involved to protect their own-selves unless they want to take the next step.
I 100% agree with you on those parts. I know people are going to disagree with you, but this seems very true for me as well. I'll put it this way. I have only ever had ONE girl in real life that I would call a "close friend". Guess what? I tried to make the next step and that wasn't what she wanted (Actually, she never thought about it because she thought I was gay. Go figure :getlost:. My best friend is actually gay [she never knew him] and nobody ever thought he was….but that's a different issue). I have seen this happen many times with my sister as well (except she was the one at fault :getlost:)
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Yes.
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Lots of my friends are girls SHOCK HORROR
WHY?! O_O
EH?! IS IT BAD TO BE CLUELESS AT 14.7YO?! HUH?~(&%!#$%^&LEAVE ME ALONE!
I'm 12.
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Yes, but damn it if I'm not trying to keep a relationship platonic right now.
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I have some hot friends (female) that are just friends
But umm, they're friends of a friend, I've never really made a female friend I wasn't interested in having more with.
 
