Akuma Sekai Manga!

Hitotsumami

AKUMA SEKAI

So, I've been working on a manga for a long time now, near 2 years. So I'll be posting a few of the drawings here. I've written the script for 7 Volumes, 58 Chapters. Whenever I finish drawing Chapter 1, I'll probably post a DL link here for you to enjoy.
As you'll soon see, my style is something like a mixture of One Piece and Naruto, since I love both of these manga and look up to them as great Manga-ka.
Anyway, on to the drawings!

This is my newest colorfold that has yet to be colored. Heh.

! I'll eventually color it with Photoshop.

Here's another one, not as good as the one above.

! This next one is pretty cool though. Really like it.
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( Yes, I realize that the words are Oni Riku, but I've recently changed the name to Akuma Sekai. They basically mean the same thing ( Demon Land ), but I think the second one sounds cooler. ^^ )

And since I don't feel like scanning all of the others, I'll just post a page from the manga itself. Oh, and just so you know, this a // Quick Sketch. Although you can probably tell it's a rough sketch because of it's quality and non pen.

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Anyway, that's all for now. Critique is greatly appreciated, because, as you can see, I'm still learning. ^^

warp

Wow your backgrounds are pretty sweet.

And for the record spoilers are like this

[ spoiler] text

(just minus the space in the first one so it really looks like this

! )

Hitotsumami

^ Ooooh, I see, thank you. ^^

And I'm glad you like my drawings. ^^

Don Krieg

It looks good but, why does all anime style characters drawn by americans doesn't look nearly as good as the pure japanese ones?

Hitotsumami

^ Probably because they're japanese. ^^

Anyway, I'm glad it looks good. ^^

warp

I am just curious, how many pages per chapter?

Hitotsumami

Chapter 1 has 80 pages.

From Chapter 2 onwards, 17-19 pages.

rusashi

@Don:

It looks good but, why does all anime style characters drawn by americans doesn't look nearly as good as the pure japanese ones?

It's gotta be something in the water.

No, but seriously, the mangas look way better because it's their jobs. Look at comics, theyre drawn just as good, and their american. Its just a different style. I think if an american could get a job as a mangaka, and work with some artists, it would look no different then the japanese arts.

Hitotsumami

Yeah. Even though it has that American taste to it, I hope to make a successful comic one day. Hopefully this one. Heh. ^^

Don Krieg

What is the plot of your manga?

Hitotsumami

Plot:

A 16 year old girl named Robin Shimizumi enters a world of civilized demons in an attempt to locate her brother that has been missing for 10 years. She get's into the world by wishing with a Key in front of a huge Gate. In this new world, she meets up with 2 ox demons, Mattaki Oushi and Itoshi Oushi. She discovers that she is one of five individuals who are called Keys. Robin discovers that there are 5 Keys in the world and 5 Gates. Whoever can find one of each will be granted a wish.

Now, Robin and her two new friends journey across this vast new world in search of a Gate as to make their wishes come true, gathering new friends and defeating people who want the Key for themselves, and Robin, all the way, looking for her brother.

// ^ Tip of the Iceburg.

Don Krieg

Are you going to try to put it in an official manga magazine thing?

Hitotsumami

^ Heh, I haven't found anything yet. It would be cool if it could go in Shounen Jump, but that isn't going to happen.

Iv'e had my eye on ComicWerks.

taboo

I love your colorspreads. But if you don't mind my saying so… they're all a little, well, similar...

Hitotsumami

^ Yesh, I am aware. I am slowly growing, it seems. I will soon try something completely different, and probably fail a few times, then finally get it right and praise the lord.

Edit: Gah, the fist pic, mah favorite, isn't working. Guess I'll re upload it.

e1n

very well done. the style looks rather similar to 666 satan, but you deserve props for all the meticulous details. i'd probably commit a massacre if i were to draw all the tiny details like that.

Strange_One

WOW! Not the world's most unique style, but you have TONS of awesome detail, and plenty of talent (like what e1n said, all of those details would drive me NUTS! xD).

One sugestion- try varying line width. The spreads are beautiful, but for example, the characters blend in with the background a bit (when it's uncolored), especially in the second one. Try varying line width to give emphasis or perspective to certain things (for example, to make them stand out a bit).

But again, nice stuff!

Hitotsumami

E1n! I've been a fan to all of your art for a while. I'm glad you like mine. ^^

@ Strange One.

Thanks for the critique, and I'm glad you like them too. But Line Width, how am I too accomplish that? The only resources I have is a pen and some computer paper.

Zulen

Very nice, and I'll gladly read it once a few chapters are completed, but…

You do realize we don't live in Japan, right...? If it's an actual comic that's not Japanese, then "Manga" is simply the wrong term. Unless you actually want to publish this comic in Japan, then... I'm so confused by that word.

Strange_One

@Hitotsumami:

@ Strange One.

Thanks for the critique, and I'm glad you like them too. But Line Width, how am I too accomplish that? The only resources I have is a pen and some computer paper.

No problem! Well… for instance, just try sketching around and playing with line width; this year of art class (Art I, tenth grade xD) has enlightened me quite a bit- try making lines thicker on parts of objects that are farther away, and making the outline a touch thicker than the rest of the figure to draw emphasis to it as a whole.

HORRID example (I might find better ones later, now it seems I can't even draw two Luffies that are similar) but here's a quick little sketch;

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See the difference? Pretty poor example, but the figure on the right seems to come together a bit more and stand out more altogether. If you look at certain manga, or American cartoons especially, they do this quite a bit (notice the outlines on something like the Fairlyodd Parents).

If you're serious, I suggest experimenting with drawing/inking pens (whatever they're called, again, I'm no expert xD) of different types and sizes. It can be fun just to mess aorund with them (I drew that with a Staedtler pigment liner, 0.5. I like the 0.7 more, though >.>).

@Private:

You do realize we don't live in Japan, right…? If it's an actual comic that's not Japanese, then "Manga" is simply the wrong term. Unless you actually want to publish this comic in Japan, then... I'm so confused by that word.

Eh xD. Tokypop LOVES to call everything they preint 'manga', even stuff by very American authors. Personally, I cal Japanese stuff 'manga' and pretty much eveything else 'comics', but it doesn't really matter.

warp

@Private:

You do realize we don't live in Japan, right…? If it's an actual comic that's not Japanese, then "Manga" is simply the wrong term. Unless you actually want to publish this comic in Japan, then... I'm so confused by that word.

If we go by this logic,you do know we don't live in italy so we can't call "pizza" pizza right? Just because it originated in another country doesn't mean we can't use that word.

Hitotsumami

I call it Manga cause it's drawn in the manga style. It's not drawn like Superman or X-men. You get it. ^^

Hitotsumami

Updates!
So, I've been drawing a little this weekend. For Chapter one, I've drawn pages 1-8. This includes the colorfold that can be found on the first post. So basically, 6 pages of actual story so far.
Here they are:
Here's volume 1's cover. I'll just throw this in real quick. It will probably change.
Volume 1

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Next comes the colorfold, which is on the first post.
Now, for the pages.
Pg.1
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Pg.2
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Pg.3
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… Continued on next post...

Hitotsumami

… continued...

Pg.4

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Pg.5-6
! Critique is welcomed. Keep in mind these are unfinished. I still need to add some background detail and fix a few mistakes. I haven't even penned yet. ^^

indigoink

Awesome so far, I love the detail of the buildings and street.

Hitotsumami

^ Thanks, glad you like it. Those buildings were a pain in the ass though. Never liked drawing towns. Ah well, you get used to it.

warp

The best thing about this manga is definetely the backgrounds. They are so detailed. Great work.

Hitotsumami

Thanks warp. Glad you like them. ^^

warp

One suggestion though is put you pics in spoiler tags from now on, the page is so wide =_=

Hitotsumami

^ Done and done. ^^

I might do a few more pages. Between the fold page and the normal page, I feel like there should be a page added there.

taboo

Nice. :3 The first few pages are a good interest grabber.

Hitotsumami

Thanks, Taboo. ^^

Tony Tony Chopper

Background is one of the things that brings a Manga alive!
I was hoping there'd be a third page so far with another few pages. But I'm really liking it so far!

Hitotsumami

Thanks TTC, glad you like it. Background isn't all that hard for me. It's pretty much easy. Buildings and such are a problem, but I'm learning.

Unbelievably good. Your the most talented beginner manga artist I have seen (ive only seen 2 others, but still). Keep it up!

Israfel856

As said, your backgrounds kick ass. I'm not big on the story, but that's just me. Keep on posting stuff!

Hitotsumami

Hehehe, thank you two very much. Just so everyone knows, the double page where it shows the house getting ripped in half, I'm redrawing that. As I was pointed out, there seems to be no rooms or furniture inside the house, so I have to redraw it to make it look more realistic.

I'm also thinking about adding a larger opening, other than that one picture with the 5 People on it.

Again, thanks. ^^

Israfel856

Here are my criticisms….

Firstly, why the empty house? After you meticously detail page 5-6, I was a little surprised to find the interior of the house completly bare. Of course, this isn't a big deal, but one of the main draws for your project so far is the detail. A lot of people focus on making a simple, emotive stlye more like One Piece then say, something more realistic and detailed like Death Note. As I said though, it's a real strength for your manga, so go full out. Also, in the future, show of drafts to people and get feedback. You'll find that you can make your panals less confusing or bare if you get some input.

Moving on, another problem is the actual people. It seems as though the is a bit off in a few panels, such as page 3 panel 1. It's "flat" syndrome and it makes the characters look ugly/static etc. Also, eyes should change shape when viewed from the side (page 4 panel 4). Your style is very reminescient of 666 Satan, but look at many manga and take things from them.

In terms of the worst panel, it definitley is page 4 panel 5. You make him Rai look tiny, or the house incredibly huge. In terms of best, Rai looks badass in panel 3 page 3. Of course, panel 2 in 5-6 also is fantastic, although the door should be taller and thinner in my opinion, but it's fine if you want to leave it.

I'd just like to say well done. Most people don't even get to finalise their ideas, much less get chapters on paper. I look forward to more of this.

(Note about cover: Don't colour stuff in with pencil, you'd be much better off scanning it and colouring using Photoshop. If you can't use Photoshop, at least get someone to do the cover, I'd do it, as would other people around here. You could also use markers, which are often used for colour spreads.)

Hitotsumami

Woot! Good critisism! ^^

Yes, yes, the empty house. I just posted something about that in the post right above yours. I'm redoing that page completely.

If you didn't know already, these are rough drafts. Everything I have drawn outside Colorspreads are rough drafts. I did most of these pictures in just about 30 minutes time. My final will be much, much better than all of that. Nonetheless, thanks for the critique. And I'm glad Rai gives off that badass feeling, that's what I was stretching for. ^^

Yeah, I just realized that Colorfolds and the such are done with marker. I was amazed. So the next cover I'll do, I'll scan black and white and photoshop that one. I'll also color it again in marker, compare, and choose the best one.

I've recently gotten a huge amount of inspiration, so I think I'm going to do the cover, a few more preview pages other than that one shaded page, and some more normal pages. ^^

Again, thanks a lot for the critique. ^^

Doraki

One thing I have against the backgrounds in the color spreads at the start of the topic is that it's too monotone and void .. mountains far in the horizons.. and the same kind of mountains, and again and again.
Same with the rocks, they're the same everywhere, Demon land feels a lot monotonous.
(and well, I also never like when there's no water or trees in a landscape)
The lines being all the same all over the place doesn't help it either.
So, more variation would be great in just about anywhere.

The house being suddenly cut in half seems to be completely empty, what kind of house is that ? Look at your own house, there's a lot of stuff that can be put inside a house.

The buildings in the town are all perfectly squared and aligned, again, you should try to give them little variations and their own quircks.

I don't draw, I don't know what to say about the chars except that you'll imrove at drawing them more realistically overtime anyway.

The lack of personality in the backgrounds is something you may want to work on a bit, it's what has been bothering me the most as a reader.

Hitotsumami

Another update!
I've redone Volume 1's cover. Now it looks like this:

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I'm going to color it with Photoshop and add text with Photoshop later, so yeah, it looks a little plain at the moment. ^^

Israfel856

It looks a little (in other words, lot :)) more interesting now. Can't wait to see it colored!

Hitotsumami

Thanks Israfel. ^^

I'll probably have it colored by the end of the day or so.

Hitotsumami

Wow, an actual update!
I did this earlier today cause I was bored…

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NOTE: Sorry for the blurriness. Crappy scanner. I'll photoshop it soon and post a better version. ^^

The actual manga itself is still underway, since I started over cause I didn't like how it began. Currently, I have the script for 94 chapters written out, that's about 11 volumes. Also, I'm still drawing Chapter 1 ( cause it's freakin 100 pages long ), but when that is done, I'll make sure to update you all. ^^

Hitotsumami

It's been 5 days!! Or around that. Anyways, to celebrate my out of school-ness, I have crated another doublefold drawing!!! WOOTNESS!

This is easily one of my favorites now! ^^

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^^

Hitotsumami

Neva fear! Hito is hear!

Anyway, since I said I was starting fresh with the drawing of the manga ( still keeping the script for the 106 chapters ), here is what I did for the last 30 minutes:

Volume 1's cover:

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komikero008

i enjoyed reading your comics ^^. i'm looking forward to your ~~soon-to-be-colored~~ spreads.

keep 'em coming. :happy:

Hitotsumami

^ Thanks, and yeah, eventually, I will color them. Right now I just want to finish Chapter 1.

Kaze no Barako

Hmm, looks promising. ^^ You have very creative character designs, I'd love to see more of 'em colored

As for advice, however, I have a few pointers:

The first one is line width, I've noticed you consistently use the same uniform thickness of line to ink your drawings with. You would be surprised how much more dynamic and expressive your inked drawings would work if you varied the line width. Using thicker lines for the outsides of characters (not like cartoon cutouts, just a little thicker) and important objects, thinner lines for details (such as eyes, bangs, and facial features), and then keeping uniform lines in most of the background can be highly effective. All those amazingly detailed backgrounds of yours would stand out much more if the other lines and characters contrasted with them.

The second is font – it's always very good to pick a font (and a font thickness) that goes well with your art. You can download hundreds of free fonts at http://www.1001freefonts.com/, and among them are several professional-quality comic book or manga fonts. The one I can think of off the top of my head is called Anime Ace, but there are many others there as well. Experiment! :3

The third is anatomy. While your characters are very strong in style, I think you could benefit from some lessons in anatomy. Of course I know this is probably the hardest part of drawing, but any artist that draws people will have to be studying anatomy constantly, pretty much. There are many good books on anatomy in pretty much any bookstore, and although most of them aren't in manga style, you can always practice while converting them into your style in your sketches. :3

The fourth is a ruler! Rulers help IMMENSELY with perspective and just drawing plain old straight lines. Speaking of perspective, just studying basic 2 or 3 point perspective should make city backgrounds feel more real (though your wilderness ones look absolutely great to me :3) and thus have more of a professional quality to them.

Other than that, keep drawing! Your story sounds interesting and I'd love to see more of it. I hope someday I can let my perfectionism go and post my manga up online, too. ^^

Hitotsumami

^ Thanks a lot! I'll take all of your tips to heart whild practicing and drawing. ^_^

Oh, and here's another drawing I did not too long ago. I forgot to post it though. XD

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