A fanfiction

OnePieceLover12

A small, redheaded woman stood out on the deck of a small ship. She was of average height, had brown eyes, and a petite nose. Her name was Nami.

'Only forty million more to go, just forty million!' she jovially thought to herself as she watched the sun appear on the horizon, its light inching its way over the water like a surreal phantom. She was sailing to the next island, hoping to be able to nab some more loot at the next town. Two days ago, she had set sail from Cocoyashi Village after burying her money. She could have left a few days earlier if it hadn't been for him forcing her to stay and make a map of the area she had stolen from.

No, she couldn't have those thoughts now. It made the horrible mark on her arm throb with pain. Nami slowly relaxed, and, to her pleasure, spotted a small port a short distance away.

'Just as I thought, there's almost no one out this early, perfect time for casing the joint,' Nami thought inside her head. The town she was in wasn't very large and only had a population of about one thousand people, she estimated. This gave her an oppurtunity to use one of her more….forceful methods.

A woman walked past her. She was elderly, about sixty, she guessed, but that wasn't the point. She had very exquisite gold rings on eight of her fingers. A bag full of groceries was clutched in her hand. Nami decided to follow her home, and then stake out the house.

The woman lived with her husband in a homely, two-story home near the outskirts of town. A perfect place to rob. At about noon, she put her plan into action.

When Nami stole, she was sneaky, aloof, and discreet. She always had a plan of action. She was lucky when the woman left again around eleven o' clock. The old man was alone. She made several rips in her shirt and pants and forced herself to start crying. She ran back to town.

"That's right, officer, he raped me!" she sobbed into the police officer's arms.

"Missy, you mean that old Ki'ichi who lives near the edge of town, raped you?" he asked.

"Yes, don't you believe me!" she shrieked as her sobbing reached a whole new level.

"Of couse I do, don't you worry, I'll check this out!" he exclaimed.

"T-th-th-thank y-you s-so much" she said as the officer hurried away.

'Step one: complete!' Now all she had to do was wait a few hours until the guy was dragged to the police station, rob his house blind, and leave this island.

OnePieceLover12

Just a little sample of a fanfiction of mine. Don't worry, I won't make Nami a bitch, she'll change later on, I promise. I won't be writing about just Nami, either. I have two other stories about two other characters planned out.

Local-chan

Oh! Wow! Spiffingly good show. Although Nami does seem a lil too bitchy lol, I couldn't see her doing something like the rape thing tho like, but it was well written it didn't bother me.

OnePieceLover12

Well, Local-chan, Nami's in a bit of a hurry for a reason, which will be explained (in a flashback, that's right, fishmen next chapter!) next chapter. I'm sure you've already guessed it's something to do with Arlong. Next chapter should be out by Sunday night, because I'll probably be a little busy tomorrow. Good thing I can write (type) relatively quickly.

Anyway, thanks for the encouragement!

OnePieceLover12

On second thought, here's the next chapter.

Chapter 2

'Let's see, add another thousand for a total of….three million beli!' Nami excitedly thought to herself as she counted her money. After she had robbed the old man's house, she had picked a few wallets. Piece of cake. Although, she did feel a bit bad about getting that old man arrested….

No, wait! She felt absolutely disgusted with herself! What would happen to that poor old couple now she thought as she began to cry.

"How could I be such a....a bitch! How could I get someone innocent in to so much trouble?" she said out loud.

What Nami would find out about fifteen years later was that that old man had raped several young girls in that town. But since she didn't know that, she felt so worthless and ashamed of herself.

It was his fault she had had to do this job quickly, because of that conversation he had with her…..

Flashback

Nami sat at her desk in the top room of Arlong Park, drawing a map of the small area she had visited. That trip had taken almost three weeks. Needless to say, Arlong had not been happy with the amount of time she had taken.

There was a small rap on her door. She told the person on the other side to enter. It was Arlong.

"Nami," he said, with that sinister, sharp-toothed sneer that never seemed to leave his face, "may I discuss something with you?"

"But of course, Arlong," she replied in that mocking, syrupy-sweet tone she saved just for him," I was just finishing the map of my last adventure."

"May I see it?" he asked, with, was that a small hint of anger in his voice? The room went deathly silent as he closely scrutinized the map. After what seemed like an eternity (but was really only a minute), he looked up, and addressed her directly.

"It took you three weeks to explore this small area? Goodness Nami, you're not slacking off, are you, because you do rememer the terms of our agreement, don't you?" asked Arlong.

"W-w-well, you s-see, I tried to steal some beli, and…." she was suddenly cut off as Arlong grabbed her by her throat and lifted her from her chair, to come face-to-face with him.

"Our main agreement," he sinisterly said,"was for you to draw me a map of the world. You collecting 100 million beli was something to do after you'd done that. Now listen, I don't want you to ever take that long on a trip again, or….well, let's just say, that old sheriff and your sister will ever see is my fins at their throats."

At this, he threw her across the room, where she crashed against the wall with a thud and slid onto the floor.

"Now," he said,"I expect to you to be gone from this place in one hour. I'll give you a week to be back."

And with the tears still on her face, she realized she had five days left, and set out for the next island, or ship, whichever came first.

A/N: Thank you for reading. So, next chapter, do you want another solo Nami adventure, or do you want Luffy, Zoro, and Buggy to appear. PM me your choice. The poll ends midnight on Sunday.

HinaThePrince

Well, I hope you don't mind some C&C.

First of all, your writing style - maybe it's just me, but I find it rather dull. You just state the facts as they are, with simplistic descriptions [i.e. "Nami had brown eyes"]. You can go a little further with the descriptions, I promise it won't hurt.

Second - the plot. You don't seem to have one, since you're asking the readers what you should do next. A multi-chapter fanfic with no plot is doomed to be boring and pointless.

Third, you're tweaking the canon. Arlong was completely OOC. Can you hear Arlong, the mighty, dreaded ruler of Cocoyashi who aims to take over the whole world, say "goodness"? Also, you said he'll kill Gen-san and Nojiko if Nami takes too long, but in the series when Nami returns, Arlong says "It's been so long, Nami!" and then throws a party to celeberate the return of his "nakama". Nami has obviously been absent for a few months.

Mm, hope I didn't sound like too much of a bitch. Looking forward for the next update.

OnePieceLover12

@HinaThePrince:

Well, I hope you don't mind some C&C.

First of all, your writing style - maybe it's just me, but I find it rather dull. You just state the facts as they are, with simplistic descriptions [i.e. "Nami had brown eyes"]. You can go a little further with the descriptions, I promise it won't hurt.

Second - the plot. You don't seem to have one, since you're asking the readers what you should do next. A multi-chapter fanfic with no plot is doomed to be boring and pointless.

Third, you're tweaking the canon. Arlong was completely OOC. Can you hear Arlong, the mighty, dreaded ruler of Cocoyashi who aims to take over the whole world, say "goodness"? Also, you said he'll kill Gen-san and Nojiko if Nami takes too long, but in the series when Nami returns, Arlong says "It's been so long, Nami!" and then throws a party to celeberate the return of his "nakama". Nami has obviously been absent for a few months.

Mm, hope I didn't sound like too much of a bitch. Looking forward for the next update.

Oh no, it's no problem at all, every writer needs criticism to improve. Nevertheless, I do have a plot, I'm just a fair sort of guy. I want the readers to enjoy this story and see what they want to read. Two scenarios are all ready to post. Once again, thank you for critiquing, and I hope to hear from you (and Local-chan, and maybe others who read this story) again.

Local-chan

My only complaint is that the emotions seem rather….weird, as if they are trying to be emotional but its just not coming through.

And yes, you should NEVER ask what the readers want, your supposed to treat them like morons and force feed them EVERYTHING.

OnePieceLover12

Sorry I didn't get the chapter up yet, it'll be here in a few days. I've been busy preparing a sample paragraph to PM to ocean, in hopes of becoming an AP Editor. New chapter should be up by Wednesday.