A hikikomori is a recluse. We don't go out during daylight, we never socialize, and our only friend is our computer. I have been a hikikomori (as they call it in Japan) for almost a year now. It was very hard in the first few weeks, but now I never wanna get out of this lifestyle. I am the king of (my) universe.So, any other hikikomoris or anti-social people here too?
Do we have any hikikomoris here?
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They're called nerds here in America.
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@Nektar:
So, any other hikikomoris or anti-social people here too?
A plurality of this forum?
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Im kinda anti-social but not a shut-in, but if being in your house on your computer all day/night makes you happy then go for it
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I once saw this pretty nice document about hikikomories. These people lived with their parents but their parents never saw them . Instead moms left food, mail and stuff like that infront of their doorways and hikikomories grapped the stuff once there wasn't anybody seeing. If I had been the mom or the dad of these kids I would had just breaken down the doors but Japanese is Japanese.
No, I'm not a hikikomori.
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Thats rather creepy…the parents shouldnt allow that...its weird
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I once saw this pretty nice document about hikikomories. These people lived with their parents but their parents never saw them . Instead moms left food, mail and stuff like that infront of their doorways and hikikomories grapped the stuff once there wasn't anybody seeing. If I had been the mom or the dad of these kids I would had just breaken down the doors but Japanese is Japanese.
No, I'm not a hikikomori.
Isn't that usually because the kids are under too much stress or something?
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I once saw this pretty nice document about hikikomories. These people lived with their parents but their parents never saw them . Instead moms left food, mail and stuff like that infront of their doorways and hikikomories grapped the stuff once there wasn't anybody seeing. If I had been the mom or the dad of these kids I would had just breaken down the doors but Japanese is Japanese.
No, I'm not a hikikomori.
If I had tried to do this my mom would have the door to my room taken off and would have served my meals in the kitchen. If I didn't want to come out then I'd starve.
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I lived with my sister in the same room for 8 years, so I had little no chance of becoming anything that resembled 'reclusive'.
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@Nektar:
It was very hard in the first few weeks, but now I never wanna get out of this lifestyle.
I'm afraid you'll have to at one point unless you want to die wallowing in your own excrements of course.
And no, I'm not one.
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They\\\\\\\'re called nerds here in America.
Maybe you should read about hikikomori to know how big a difference there is betweend nerds and us? Just search wikipedia for the term hikikomori.
And you should also be careful about what you say. I am not a nerd. I used to be social before, I played for one of the best soccer teams in my city, I had a gf and friends too. I also skate alot, although during nights only because I dont like talking with people IRL anymore.
And it is not like I chose to be obsessive comulsive and ruin my life. The only reason I enjoy being alone, leaving my apartment for social reasons 5 time this year, is because of mean people like you.
But dont worry, I am not angry with you. I used to be just like you before got OBD.
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I'm afraid I become one everytime I'm grounded.
-No phone.
-No going out.
-I'm annoyed at my parent.
So the only thing I can do is stay in my room and use the computer. sighs Like right now.But otherwise, I wouldn't be able to lead such a lifestyle. I'd probably be deprived, causing loneliness.
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I'm afraid I become one everytime I'm grounded.
-No phone.
-No going out.
-I'm annoyed at my parent.
So the only thing I can do is stay in my room and use the computer. sighs Like right now.But otherwise, I wouldn't be able to lead such a lifestyle. I'd probably be deprived, causing loneliness.
If you got grounded but didn't deserve it, then disobey your parents and do as you wish. Or… you could ignore my negative influence.
I am anti-social, because I tend to have a different view on life than most other simple people around my area (area full of thugs >>). But I still play for my local football (soccer) team, college football team and get out a lot with my friends (who are all thugs, >>, I have little option). Haven't had the best of relationships (girls).
I get on the computer every time I am home, because I don't talk to my family very much... actually, I hardly ever talk to them.
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I'm a huge one..NOT. I'm like the opposite of a hikikomori, I don't like to be on the computer much, and I only tend to do this stuff whenever I'm bored and don't have anything else to do, but if there's a party or a get together to hang out, screw the computer. I leave it.
I socialize a lot, I remember when I really didn't socialize but now I've changed much.
They're called nerds here in America.
Quoted for Truth. No offense Nektar, but it does seem much like a nerd even if it reallty isn't
Speak of the devil. Right now I'm gonna go over to a friends house, so I'd rather go than stay on the computer.*
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http://www.mangaupdates.com/series.html?id=4418 <- That's hikikomori. … D: Hikikomori doesn't necesarily use computer, btw.
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There are NO hikikomoris at AP. A year ago, the worst we had were otaku; now some of them have digivolved into weeaboo and we've got tards, but no hikikomoris yet.
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@Nektar:
Maybe you should read about hikikomori to know how big a difference there is betweend nerds and us? Just search wikipedia for the term hikikomori.
Ok… I just did. To be honest, it didn't really change my opinion...
And it is not like I chose to be obsessive comulsive and ruin my life. The only reason I enjoy being alone, leaving my apartment for social reasons 5 time this year, is because of mean people like you.
I'm sorry if I sound mean, but like you said, you gave up alot for a lifestyle where you live in a basement. Not only does it sound unproductive, it seems kind of silly to spend your life hiding from 'mean' people like me. Actually… if you really did do this to escape the meanines, it didn't really do you much good because here I am talking to you through the internet. =/
But dont worry, I am not angry with you. I used to be just like you before got OBD.
So your closet lifestyle is a direct result of OCD. You know that's treatable, right?
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I agree with taboo. Sorry, but he's got a point:
I'm sorry if I sound mean, but like you said, you gave up alot for a lifestyle where you live in a basement. Not only does it sound unproductive, it seems kind of silly to spend your life hiding from 'mean' people like me. Actually… if you really did do this to escape the meanines, it didn't really do you much good because here I am talking to you through the internet. =/
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Ok… I just did. To be honest, it didn't really change my opinion...
I'm sorry if I sound mean, but like you said, you gave up alot for a lifestyle where you live in a basement. Not only does it sound unproductive, it seems kind of silly to spend your life hiding from 'mean' people like me. Actually... if you really did do this to escape the meanines, it didn't really do you much good because here I am talking to you through the internet. =/
So your closet lifestyle is a direct result of OCD. You know that's treatable, right?
1:I never chose this lifestyle. I went to a therapist for 3 years. It did help me to a certain extent, but as most OCD sufferers I never got rid of it completely. It still is controlling a big aprt of my life.
2:A nerd is someone who's obsessed with one or maybe two things. An otaku is a nerd. Otakus only live for anime. A hikikomori is something completely different.
Many normal people, like I was, became hikikimori because of something bad happening in our lives. Sometimes it's not that bad like failing an exam.
Other times being ridiculed by your parents, friends, classmates and having people laughing at you in the street because you're seeing things that aren't actually there might easily make you a recluse.
I'd like to know what you think of as "nerd." Because I am not a nerd. I still play soccer in the summer season, but always early or very late at night, so I can do it all alone.
I skate. I speak 4 languages. I play the piano. And as I said earlier I used to have friends and a grilfriend before. So it's not like I am stupid ass geek who only knows computer programming.
I used to play for one of the best soccer teams in my city, and it was also on of the best youth teams in Scandinavia.
How many "nerds" do you know of who where able to play in one of Scandinavia's best youth football teams? Or how many nerds do you know of with a sexlife?Dude, you have to read more about this stuff, get some knowledge. It's not like all hikikomoris were stuck in their apartment/basement watching anime when they used to be normal.
I didn't even know what anime was until last year. And I got my computer one year after I was diagnoes with OCD. But sometimes life turns out for the worst, and makes you a complete loser.
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Yeah so… Why did you start this thread exactly? "look at me I'm AP's only recluse!" Well you may be a recluse but we're manga nerds, it'll take more than this to impress us!!!!
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Yeah so… Why did you start this thread exactly? "look at me I'm AP's only recluse!" Well you may be a recluse but we're manga nerds, it'll take more than this to impress us!!!!
Hehehe :-) I just wanted to see if there were any people like me here, and arrange pity parties and maybe try to help each other here and on msn. It's not like I think it is something to brag about.
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@Nektar:
Hehehe :-) I just wanted to see if there were any people like me here, and arrange pity parties and maybe try to help each other here and on msn. It's not like I think it is something to brag about.
Allthough you did brag about your past lifestyle. :getlost:
When you're zo proud of being such a good soccer player and having had girlfriends, was it really such a bad time that you left it all to be locked up in a room?
Is it really so much better to be locked up in your own room, in your own world, without any real challenges? Without the satisfaction of interacting with real people? To look each other in the face, to be able to feel the body warmth of another living being?
I mean hey, the world isn't such a bad place, other people aren't that bad that we need to go all 'hermit style'.
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seems to be alot of soccer players in this thread
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@Nektar:
1:I never chose this lifestyle. I went to a therapist for 3 years. It did help me to a certain extent, but as most OCD sufferers I never got rid of it completely. It still is controlling a big aprt of my life.
Most OCDers don't become hermits.
It seems to me like becoming a hikikimori is just adding more problems onto ones that already exist. What will you do 20 years from now? Are you going to waste your life? Because that's what it is basically. You're hiding from your problems and you're wasting your life away by avoiding all conact. The whole purpose of life is living and loving and creating experiences.
Other times being ridiculed by your parents, friends, classmates and having people laughing at you in the street because you're seeing things that aren't actually there might easily make you a recluse.
It might as easily not as well.
I'd like to know what you think of as "nerd." Because I am not a nerd. I still play soccer in the summer season, but always early or very late at night, so I can do it all alone.
Just because you go outside on occasion to kick a ball around by yourself, doesn't make you look particularly cool…
How many "nerds" do you know of who where able to play in one of Scandinavia's best youth football teams? Or how many nerds do you know of with a sexlife?
You're the first. Though when you talk about all the things you gave up to become a hermit, and for something like OCD no less, it really makes you look kinda silly.
Dude, you have to read more about this stuff, get some knowledge. It's not like all hikikomoris were stuck in their apartment/basement watching anime when they used to be normal.
@wikipedia:
While many people feel the pressure of the outside world, and may feel uncomfortable in public (or "social anxiety"), a hikikomori reacts by complete social withdrawal to avoid all outside pressure. In some cases, they may lock themselves into their bedroom or another room of their parent's house for prolonged periods of time, sometimes measured in years. They usually have few, or no friends. A hikikomori's days are characterized by long spells of sleeping, while their nighttime hours are often spent watching TV, extensively playing computer games, surfing the Internet, reading, or other non-social activities.
The withdrawal from society usually starts gradually. Affected individuals may appear unhappy, lose their friends, become insecure, shy, and talk less. Those in their teen ages may be bullied at school, which, atop the already high pressures of school and family, may be the final trigger for the withdrawal.
Hikikomori often set their own sleep schedule, typically waking in the afternoon and going to bed in the early morning. While they are awake, they may engage in a variety of activities shared with other people of their age, including listening to music, surfing the Internet or actively posting in Internet forums like 2channel, which has become famous for its hikikomori population. While hikikomori favor indoor activities, most of them do venture outdoors on occasion, though they may prefer to do that at night.
It seems that they don't actually give things up on purpose, nor have a 'hard time' doing it…
I'm sorry, but I don't pity you at all really. You chose this life, and decided to hide from your problems.
But sometimes life turns out for the worst, and makes you a complete loser.
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Speaking as someone with Asperger's, Tourette's, Obsessive-Compulsive and depression… I have to admit, you aren't helping your case much, friend. Life is hard; you can either fight it out or surrender, and it seems to me that you have breached the middle ground into the space of surrender. I will not, however, make presumptions as to what caused you to withdraw. It is neither my place or desire to put such pressure upon you.
That being said! I do think that you need to try something more. Listening to music, reading, and chatting on the internet isn't what I would call a productive life. Look at me, for example: unable to drive, torn by social anxieties and depression, I am currently on Social Security and live with my parents. But, I don't close myself in entirely – I go out, I breathe the fresh air, and I tell the people I love that I love them. I'd suppose you do that much, but if not...
My advice is to try expanding your horizons a little. It isn't meant to be malicious or "I hate you and what you are, hikikomori" -- it's designed as advice from one of the select matters I'm world-weary on. Like my teacher says, always have a "Plan B"; you need to push ahead, push ahead some more, and when you fall back, just kick the ever-loving shit out of the problem with everything you've got even if you get your ass whupped.
Good luck, now, Nektar.
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Yeah, I'm with taboo. You really can't pin OCD as being the root of your problems; somewhere along the lines you made a conscious choice to become a shut-in. It feels like you're using your alleged (I don't mean to be disrespectful here, but it's common for people to exaggerate their personal problems to the point that they claim to have a disorder, so I'm just covering my bases) OCD as some sort of justification. As someone else pointed out, you seemed to be pretty proud of your past life; why give that up?
So yeah, you choose to be a loser, so I don't really feel bad for you.
@Radical:
seems to be alot of soccer players in this thread
lmao, I barely know who you are but you're winning a place in my heart
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I find it funny that being a hermit is all about not coming into contact with other people, and yet these hermits for the most part seem to make a point of internet and computer usage. In an age where contact with another human is just a few keystrokes and a crappy modem away, that seems kind of counterproductive to me.
I can't say my contacts to this place simply because I'm sure my connection wouldn't appreciate it, but I often go to a school of autistic "kids" (I use the term lightly, as some are getting older and more like adults), many of whom also exhibit OCD and other such conditions. The kids at this school are some of the most severe cases of their conditions; they're difficult or "stuck" enough in their condition that public school is essentially useless to them, so their parent search out this specialty school. They're essentially the worst of the worst in terms of ability to interact socially, but they're by no means idiots; there's a three or four year old there that knows his damned times tables better than I do, by God. Still, they have little to no ability to interract socially correctly, and in some cases they can't even speak despite the fact that they're just as smart as the rest of us. Yet these kids don't become recluses. They hardly ever even exhibit a desire to, no matter how many awful jabs and jeers they get from both unknowing kids asking what's wrong with them and perfectly capable adults asking the same goddamn question.
I'm sorry. I don't know how bad your problems are; for all I know, your OCD is so bad that you have to take three steps back for every one step forward, I sure as hell don't know. But I find it really pathetic and cowardly that your means of dealing with that is by hiding from all of society that won't talk to you through a computer screen. You have it leagues better than those kids; you should be just as happy and work just as hard to be accepted, if not more so. If your OCD really is that bad, start walking backwards, dammit.
Sorry for the rant, but this just reeks of "look at me im all sad an alone w/ so mny prolems plz pity me" and I absolutely can not stand that damned conceited pile of shit.
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That's sort of harsh, but that's basically the way I see it too. Apparently, compared to most, you had a perfectly good life before you went all emo and hid from reality. I actually find that solution (never get out of home) to be the most pathetic and cowardly thing one could do to deal with problems. <deleted by="" ocean="">That's because deep down you still want to live, you're just too scared and weak to do so. Just try for fuck's sake. Get your ass out of your room and try.
That was pretty corny. Even more with the edit.</deleted>
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Sorry, Aldrich, I deleted some part of your post because… it's been a social problem in Japan for past years. I know it's not Japan, but being cautious.
Now onto my reply.
our only friend is our computer
Lie. Many of Hikikomori (aka Hikkie) do other stuff as well, such as watching tv, playing games, reading, etc.
1:I never chose this lifestyle. I went to a therapist for 3 years. It did help me to a certain extent, but as most OCD sufferers I never got rid of it completely. It still is controlling a big aprt of my life.
Maybe your parents spoiled you too much. Probably you know by now, but OCD happens more often to the children of middle~upper class families. When people are forced to live in certain way (ie. in monastery or army), they don't have time to be "spoiled little brat," and the symptom usually gets better. Maybe you can try applying for army.
2:A nerd is someone who's obsessed with one or maybe two things. An otaku is a nerd. Otakus only live for anime. A hikikomori is something completely different.
Please don't use the word if you don't know the meaning. Otaku is whoever obsessed with some certain thing - it can be train otaku, manga otaku, health otaku, the list goes on.
I'd like to know what you think of as "nerd." Because I am not a nerd. I still play soccer in the summer season, but always early or very late at night, so I can do it all alone.
What's wrong with nerd playing soccer?
I skate. I speak 4 languages. I play the piano. And as I said earlier I used to have friends and a grilfriend before. So it's not like I am stupid ass geek who only knows computer programming.
I do think I'm pretty much a geek. I'm in front of comp most of the time I'm awake. Let's see. I speak 4 languages as well. Wait, is your "4 languages" 4 European languages? They don't… really count. They are so similar... :X I play the piano - I played for 10 years. I can play the guitar, too. I do have friends and lovely girlfriend whom I've been dating for more than 5 years. Am I stupid ass geek? No, I don't think so. Please don't underestimate geek power >:O!
How many "nerds" do you know of who where able to play in one of Scandinavia's best youth football teams? Or how many nerds do you know of with a sexlife?
Considering I don't like playing any sports so much and the area of interest is pretty narrow, I don't mind considering myself a nerd. I probably am. I do feel better when I'm alone than being with someone else. I do have sex life though. I won't go too much in detail, but probably I'm more experienced than you :P Also, since you aren't playing in Scandinavia's best youth football teams any more, what would make you better than nerds? You did say you play it on your own now - good. I do play basketball with my friends, too. Maybe I'm better than you since I can play it with my friends.
Dude, you have to read more about this stuff, get some knowledge. It's not like all hikikomoris were stuck in their apartment/basement watching anime when they used to be normal.
What taboo is saying is - once you become Hikikomori, you are almost as same as nerd. Worse, perhaps, since you don't have any social life. Nerds at least go school and work - stuff you need to do to survive :)
Hehehe :-) I just wanted to see if there were any people like me here, and arrange pity parties and maybe try to help each other here and on msn. It's not like I think it is something to brag about.
There are only about 3.3% of male in Japan that became Hikikomori. In Europe and the United States, it's only 1%. Your chance is pretty low considering APF isn't that big board. You probably have a better chance going to forums that features OCD, if you still believe that's the cause of you being a Hikkie.
I have a slight feeling that you "wanted" become Hikkie since it's from Japan and it sounds so cool. (Otherwise why didn't you just use English term?) But you know, Hikikomori is pretty much a past thing now. The times is for NEET - Not currently engaged in Employment, Education, or Training. That's the way to go.
/me wants to become a NEET… ... D:
Anyway, good luck with your Hikikomori life. The research says the average period of being Hikkie is about 39 months (3 years and 3 months). I don't know how many years you have been a Hikkie, but you said you went to see therapist for 3 years. If that's the period you've been a Hikkie, then congraturations, maybe you can stop doing that in 3 months.
ps. I do think Hikkies are just brats with parents that spoil children too much... :/
ps2. Is this some kind of bad AF joke? D: I'm being doubtful now.
ps3. I'm sorry if I sound like I'm looking down on you, but in general, the term "Hikikomori" is ... yeah, kind of discriminative (?) word in Japanese.
ps4. I just found a good quote:
@Tamaki:20代後半までに問題化し、6ヶ月以上、自宅にひきこもって社会参加しない状態が持続しており、ほかの精神障害がその第一の原因とは考えにくいもの
It surfaces by late 20s. The person will stay at home for more than 6 months and not socialize with other people. It's highly unlikely that other mental disorder is causing this.- taken from 社会的ひきこもり 終わらない思春期, ISBN: 4569603785
OCD is mental disorder, isn't it?
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EDIT:
Whoops. Lowering riskiness.
Why don't you use the term nerd or something? Is it beyond you?
And yeah, I'm thinking that you're doing jack shit about it.
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I don't know all about this "hikikomori" stuff, but well, there's also people who just don't think socializing is all that great. I only go out in public because it's necessary. The fun of it is lost on me. Buying groceries? Going to class? Just seems like stuff you have to put up with if you want to live. Now, there is socializing with close friends and family though. So that means such a person is not reclusive right? But then it has already been said that someone with only a few friends can still be considered reclusive.
Although what kind of person would be considered a recluse exactly? Am I not thinking of the same kind of reclusiveness? Because I don't really believe in the idea that all reclusive (or people who are considered reclusive, whether they fit whatever the true definition is or not) people want to be pitied.
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applauds ocean
Sorry to tell ya, Nektar, but anybody who openly admits to going around hoping to create pity-parties isn't going to get a lot of sympathy. Especially not here, we're a little sarcastic.
Personally, I am neither a shut-in nor do I consider myself anti-social (although I avoid things like clubs and "parties" in the coloquial definition like the plague). I'm more along the lines of "inclined to be solitary." I adore my friends and hanging out with them and going to cons and movies and stuff like that, but I also equally like just spending some quiet time by myself, be it on the computer, playing games, or reading. Or, even better, taking a nap. (we college students are deprived)
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I do have sex life though. I won't go too much in detail, but probably I'm more experienced than you :P
ocean, I love you.
Well, I suppose I was antisocial when I was younger; but that can be attributed to me being a shy child. Needless to say, I grew out of that. We Okies ain't shy! Yeehaw!
You do need friends. Everyone needs a little companionship that even the all-mighty PC cannot provide!
Go out during the daylight! Your skin needs Vitamin C! You don't want scurvy, do you?
I can't see how anyone could live like you. That would be pretty boring, just staying in some dark place with only a computer for companion. Not to mention…well...sad.
You say you went to a therapist for your OCD? Go back. Your problems won't go away if you don't face them.
! What's with all these new definitions for 'nerd' and 'geek?' You'd think I'd know, being in 7th grade, but I'm not very hip.
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Well, I have never considered myself to be anti-social, because I was always under the impression that it meant something more like "unable to act appropriately in social situations" instead of withdrawing from social situations.
It's more that I've just always been very introverted (probably more so than most people who use the term to describe themselves). But I don't think it will actually affect my goals in life or anything.
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That's sort of harsh, but that's basically the way I see it too. Apparently, compared to most, you had a perfectly good life before you went all emo and hid from reality. I actually find that solution (never get out of home) to be the most pathetic and cowardly thing one could do to deal with problems. <deleted by="" ocean="">That's because deep down you still want to live, you're just too scared and weak to do so. Just try for fuck's sake. Get your ass out of your room and try.
That was pretty corny. Even more with the edit.</deleted>
Hi Aldrich. Sometimes it is easier said than done. It's not like I just said goodbye to mu friends, girfriend and a possible soccer career just because I wanted to.
I had to stop playing soccer because at the worst point the OCD owned my life. I once sat 12 hours straight saying the same thing over and over again. I did not want to, I wanted to do something else but my mind told me to sit there and repeat the same words over and over again for around 12 hours straight. I did go to the bathroom once or twice during those 12 hours though.
My GF broke up with me because - her words "you've turned into a retard." I lost social contact with my friends because the OCD kept me at home.
I failed classes in school because I never went there after I was humiliated there because I was repeating the same words over and over again loud during exams, classes etc.etc . People laughed at me, I became a reject etc.etc.
Now, I do take private lessons though. I study on my own, I have got my exams in may and june. If I pass I'll aply for a university. Hopefully that will kill my hikikomori-lifestyle.
I am not saying this to make you or taboo or the other people who are insinuating that I am weak to feel sorry for me. But you have got to know that people don't just become recluses for fun, or because they're lazy.
4 years of OCD can change anyone into a loser. It's not like I've not tried to seek professional help, try to socialize etc.etc I am still trying to study for my exams and stuff, but I have given up socializing because my life as a recluse is a lot more comforting.
LOL Oceanizer. Funny post. I have had OCD for 4 years. Had therapy for 3 years. And been a hikikomori for 1 year. The reason I used the word "hikikomori" is because I recently watched "Welcome to the NHK."
Here in Scandinavia we dont have any words for "hikikomori" and I did not know of any English words, besides NEET which I acutally thought was Japanese (they use it in NHK too).
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Again, I know plenty of people with OCD who don't shut themselves in their lair eating Cheetos for the rest of their lives.
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@Cap'n:
Again, I know plenty of people with OCD who don't shut themselves in their lair eating Cheetos for the rest of their lives.
And I know of a lot of people who had gotten cancer and survived. Not all cancer victims and not all OCD people can make it in real life. It depends on how serious it is. Some people are lucky with their OCD, while other people may be the one you see on TV, the people who cant even leave their house because all they can think of is washing their hands, apartment etc.etc
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First and foremost, this is a primarily English-typing board. Use the damn English word.
Secondly, this lifestyle is unbelievably unhealthy. People need other people. If you're just sitting in your damn room all the time, you'll miss out on life. I don't care what you did before. You're missing life and all of the wonderful things it has to offer.
You have a social phobia? Get the hell over it. It's possible. I have a needle phobia, and I don't go and scream when I have to get a blood test or a shot. I might gripe about how I don't want to do it, but guess what? Once it happens, it's not that bad and life goes on. I know that I need it, so I don't shy away from it. Go outside. Meet people. Do more than just exist: live.
And whatever you do, don't expect pity from Arlong Park members. We're ruthless fish-men here.
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@Nektar:
The reason I used the word "hikikomori" is because I recently watched "Welcome to the NHK."
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never heard of that term before. I'm on the Computer alot..but at least I get out of the house about 2-3 times a week
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Hey dude, my problem probably wasn't the same extent as yours, but I used to hyperventilate everytime I stepped out of my own house. One day about three years ago I had a panic attack on a bus home from university for no reason, and from then on I started having them whenever I was in public with or without anyone there to help me. It made me unhappy for while, and I couldn't attend the rest of my uni semester but I managed to pass it without every needing to go, which was lucky. But anyway at that time I found that I could sit at home and cry about it, or I could go out and fix it. Why? Because I loved life way too much. So I spent the next few months making myself leave the house until I became comfortable again in public with someone with me. That was the first step. After that I met a counseller who helped me through my phobia and I was able to go out in public BY MYSELF, catch buses, go back to uni, and even fly overseas alone without getting freaked out. It's been two years since I got over this, and while it's an experience I don't ever want to go through again, it made me into a stronger, more confident person.
You're not me, but you should probably seek help in the form of counselling or medication instead of moping around at home, feeling sorry for yourself, and generally wasting your life. It's hard getting back on your feet, it's worth it in the end.
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@Roz:
And whatever you do, don't expect pity from Arlong Park members. We're ruthless fish-men here.
Hey, at least being friendly used to be a virtue in AP.
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This post is deleted!
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ZEPHOS BLUNT MEANYNESS AHEAD
GNARLY SURFIN BEWARE!1:I never chose this lifestyle. I went to a therapist for 3 years. It did help me to a certain extent, but as most OCD sufferers I never got rid of it completely. It still is controlling a big aprt of my life.
OCD has exactly what to do with staying in your room? Its not like its any different outdoors than in.
2:A nerd is someone who's obsessed with one or maybe two things. An otaku is a nerd. Otakus only live for anime. A hikikomori is something completely different.
A nerd is a very broad term that can cover pretty much anything deemed socially pathetic.
Many normal people, like I was, became hikikimori because of something bad happening in our lives. Sometimes it's not that bad like failing an exam.
None of which will improve by staying in a room.
Other times being ridiculed by your parents, friends, classmates and having people laughing at you in the street because you're seeing things that aren't actually there might easily make you a recluse.
OCD not being such a disorder. You wouldn't be typing here if you were schizophrenic. Or if you were it would be rambling nonsense.
I'd like to know what you think of as "nerd." Because I am not a nerd. I still play soccer in the summer season, but always early or very late at night, so I can do it all alone.
….? How do you play Soccer alone?
I mean...thats patently impossible.
Unless your talking about kicking a ball, maybe into a net, which isn't soccer.
Thats still pretty nerdy, mainly the whole AVOID PEOPLE thing.I skate.
Alone.
I speak 4 languages.
To nobody.
I play the piano.
That no one will hear ( the artist in me sheds a tear).
And as I said earlier I used to have friends and a grilfriend before. So it's not like I am stupid ass geek who only knows computer programming.
Bringing up things you used to do is pretty darn irrelevant.
I used to play for one of the best soccer teams in my city, and it was also on of the best youth teams in Scandinavia.
How many "nerds" do you know of who where able to play in one of Scandinavia's best youth football teams? Or how many nerds do you know of with a sexlife?Assloads.
And again, your talking about things that were.Dude, you have to read more about this stuff, get some knowledge. It's not like all hikikomoris were stuck in their apartment/basement watching anime when they used to be normal.
AGAIN WIT THE "U" WORD.
I didn't even know what anime was until last year. And I got my computer one year after I was diagnoes with OCD. But sometimes life turns out for the worst, and makes you a complete loser.
Wait, so you agree with this assessment…?
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And I know of a lot of people who had gotten cancer and survived. Not all cancer victims and not all OCD people can make it in real life.
Except cancer patients either die or don't.
OCD isn't an either or thing at all.It depends on how serious it is. Some people are lucky with their OCD, while other people may be the one you see on TV, the people who cant even leave their house because all they can think of is washing their hands, apartment etc.et
So the solution is to stay in your room forever.
I don't follow.By the way.
How are you going to handle power/water/living expenses, retirement funds(for after your parents bite it), power outages, house fires, mold, replacing hardware, moving houses, renovations, natural disasters, serious illness.What if you fell over and cracked your head open on a table or something and fell unconscious, nobody would know. You could bleed to death. You could choke in much the same way.
How will you endure the call of anything real you see? Theme parks, movie theaters, concerts, sex, restauraunt level food, human company, pets, the beach, vacations to exotic locales, pools,…
What about jury duty? Bills?
Hell how do you even pay for ANYTHING, not just bills, but your own entertainment and nourishment.
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Hey, at least being friendly used to be a virtue in AP.
There's a big difference between being friendly and throwing pity parties.
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@Nektar:
I have had OCD for 4 years. Had therapy for 3 years. And been a hikikomori for 1 year. The reason I used the word "hikikomori" is because I recently watched "Welcome to the NHK."
That's exactly what I thought and probably you're using it because it looked cool in NHK.
Here in Scandinavia we dont have any words for "hikikomori" and I did not know of any English words, besides NEET which I acutally thought was Japanese (they use it in NHK too).
NEET is the word first used in Britain.
I don't have any problem with people having OCD. I know it's pretty hard thing to get over if your symptom is severe, or some people like David Beckam (sp), who also has OCD, doesn't have any problem living a normal life. Either way, I believe it's something that you can try to / force yourself to improve the symptom.
I just hate the fact that you are blaming OCD that caused your Hikkie life, keep shutting yourself in your room, half-proud of being Hikikomori, having your parents pay for all your living cost, and doesn't seem to be… trying to improve the symptom yourself. And did I mention that I hate the fact that you are blaming OCD for being a Hikikomori?
Btw, I just did self test on http://www.ocd-net.jp/ to see if I have some OCD symptom… and probability of me having OCD is 14/30.
0~8: low
9~12: warning / should be careful
13~30: highI...
- am probably a clean freak
- worried about too much stuff and can't work on the things effectively
- doubt about stuff too much
That's what the website said. ... And I admit, it's kind of true :/
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Well, I guess I am somewhat of a hikikomori. I spend most of my time in my room, with no socializing, doing whatever I can with my own devices. I just suck when it comes to a real life conversation.
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Hey so do I (at first anyway). Its all about lasting long enough around people for the shell to crack.
This might mean your just a few person type a guy. Nothings wrong with 2 really good friends and yourself, as opposed to 56 semi-friends and yourself.
Latch onto a social machine for a pal, and they will do the rest unwittingly.
Crisis brings people together! Have a trauma, before you know it your urge to bitch about it will turn your semi-friends into far closer "I can't beleive you have this much to say!" than they will love you. Just don't overdo the bitching. Or they will hate you.
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@Nektar:
And I know of a lot of people who had gotten cancer and survived. Not all cancer victims and not all OCD people can make it in real life. It depends on how serious it is. Some people are lucky with their OCD, while other people may be the one you see on TV, the people who cant even leave their house because all they can think of is washing their hands, apartment etc.etc
If your OCD is that bad, force yourself to see help.
:B