I'm just gonna give my thoughts as I watch the episode. Below you'll find a compendium of my thoughts (spoilered) as I watched it. Some will be nitpicky, some not, some will be positive (I hope).
! Shitty CGI shot of a dinosaur. Not a good way to start the new season.
! If the Tardis travelled in time while in the dinosaur, wouldn't it simply leave the dinosaur? Unless you're going to argue it's taking a lift like Jack did, but then wouldn't it be dead? Or are dinosaurs super resilient to the effects of the time vortex? Also did Lizard lady just trust random people with super futuristic technology they don't understand to take care of a threat that could seriously kill a lot of people? Doesn't this all seriously fuck up the timeline if a fucking dinosaur was spotted in London? I know, I know, it's funny and quirky and Moffat doesn't give a crap so we shouldn't but it's really dumb.
! Something less nitpicky, they're rehashing the Tennant regeneration. Except when Tennant did it, it was funny and energetic while when Capaldi did it, it's weird, rambly and gibberishy. Really great first impression for our new hero, not.
! Opening sequence is pretty fucking cool.
! Did they seriously add a comical mallet sound to a psychic link. Really? And I'm getting fucking tired of the lesbian duo's MEN ARE SO UNCIVILIZED shtick.
! Clara is still boring I see.
! I like that human lesbian's little moment about loving lizard lady. No, sorry, I can't remember their names and I'm too lazy to check.
! This whole thing with Clara is just a rehash of Rose's arc except more boring because love or hate Rose, she had more personality and it hadn't been done before in New Who.
! Oh my god, this is worse than Rose, Clara isn't disappointed the Doctor is no longer the same person, she's disappointed he's no longer sexy! Is she a fucking metaphor for those teenage girls. Is Moffat trying to use meta-humour again like in Sherlock?
! That whole exchange with Lizard lady and Clara was weird and didn't really accomplish anything. And now we jump to fucking Doctor antics. This whole episode is paced weirdly and the dialogue is nonsensical and doesn't add anything. So It's definitely a Moffat episode then.
! The Doctor called a T-Rex, a big sexy woman. This is not funny.
! Okay, it being burned alive was funny.
! Gee, I wonder who's suspicious in the crowd, could it be the guy with half a face?
! Yes, just let the mentally unstable man jump into the river. What guarantee does Lizard lady have he won't just drown? He's not right in the head.
! Oh hey, Clara is in Victorian garb, maybe she'll finally become interesting again.
! Drax's shtick is just dull, repetitive and a time waster.
! The Doctor is going on a huge rant about his eyebrows. This I think is supposed to be funny. Yet the directing of the scene and how it ties into the story of the serious topic of the Doctor's mental instability and trying to find his identity frames it as serious. I've never seen a SCENE be tonally inconsistent before.
! Lizard Lady: "The game is afoot!" making it look like they're going to leave to look for the doctor. Next scene, they're in the same place. This directing is unbelievably incompetent.
! Next side was clever.
! There is so much goddamn dead space. The pacing is so weird. Minutes of nothing happening punctuated with things happeneing out of nowhere, where's the flow, where's the gradual buildup? Ugh.
! Nah, bullshit, I'm not gonna believe that you can walk into a restaurant and not notice the people are animatronics. No, you'd notice even if distracted, brain fooling your eye be damned, you'd notice.
! Robots harvesting organs for machinery? Isn't this a rehash of Girl in the Fireplace?
! So I guess giant dinosaur organs are compatible for robots? How would they fit them into the robot? Also they won't be very usable if you burn it alive, will they?
! This episode has kinda gotten interesting now we've stopped wasting time and gotten to the actual plot.
! Oh for fuck's sake, I was actually invested in the whole Clara holding her breath thing but this is how you show her blurring vision Moffat, weird distracting red/yellow rectangles at the borders of ehr vision? Yeah, nit picky, but this is really representative of his obnoxious directing. Clara held her own breath so long she passed out. is that even physically possible. And now some stupid, random flashback that has nothing to do with anything. Why are they bringing up Clara's old teaching job now, it's so weird and has nothing to do with anything.
! Clara's actually being a badass. Respect.
! You need an optic nerve from a creature that has been dead for sixty five million years ago. Uh huh. (And yes, I know they're that old but it still makes no sense, why does it HAVE to be the optic nerve of a fucking T-Rex? And why couldn't they have gotten it when it was still around? Why did it take them so long to use the part? Why didn't they change their systems for other nerve fibres? Does this mean they were boned for millions of years till the Doctor brought the T-Rex to London? Were they just twiddling their thumbs till then?) And you kinda burned the dinosaur so it should be ash by now.
! So I guess the Doctor's character arc of regaining himself just happened off-screen did it? Well whatever, whatever gets the plot moving and the doctor not being weird and rambly and actually badass.
! I actually am enjoying Clara's character more. The Victorian garb IS making a difference!
! Oh so it IS the same robots from Lady in the Fireplace… Could you not taint one of your best episodes Moffat?
! You're riding on a balloon made of human skin, ADDRESS THIS Doctor!
! This conversation with the robot is really interesting and fascinating.
! I like the new Tardis design.
! Really, really, we really need to have a dramatic moment with the Doctor telling Clara he's not her boyfriend, we had to waste time addressing the shippers? Ugh.
–- Update From New Post Merge ---
So long rant short, that was a good 20 minutes of television...in a 75 minute episode... When we actually delved into the plot and the relationship of the characters, it was fun. For all I bitched about it not making sense, I was more annoyed by the bizarre pacing, the large amount of time of nothing happening. Which was why I really liked that climax because we actually got some goddamn focus and a sense of adventure and fun and I even liked Clara and the Doctor's bit at the end, stupid winking at fans not withstanding. But the rest of this episode was just ughhhh.
--- Update From New Post Merge ---
And no, I won't be doing this for every episode. I only did it for the premiere since it was the start plus it was a Moffat episode who I really don't like.