Hey guys, there's a new parody of One Piece called “One Piece Unleashed: The Joke Reels”-
. The entire parody has original artwork hand-drawn by Elekid11, the same guy who did the hand-drawn One Piece opening. What do you guys think of this parody? I'm in the middle–some parts of it are really funny, like the Cobra Rant and what Luffy tells Vivi in the desert. However, some of the jokes were pretty lame in my opinion. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. What do you think? Do you find it hilarious? Or do you think it's crappy and sucks?NEW Hand-Drawn One Piece Parody- Hilarious or Crappy?
-
-
The gags are far too drawn out, if you look at any sketch comedy (especially anime) the gags are quick and too the point, so you need to cut the unnecessary delays and make it snappy. Your jokes rely to much on swear words and parody songs on their own, it's a weird mash-up and could be a lot more subtle, not very appealing to older fans. The script could do with much more work if you want to hit home.
When I look at the length of the video I can barely get through it. I can tell this is an overly ambitious about project, the episode numbering (1/3) is unnecessary to say that more episodes exist because you haven't created any more episodes.
You should remove all the text after the intro as well as the credits, what is the point of informing people what they are about to watch if they were going to watch it anyway? There is a description section for a reason, stick it all in there.
Also use a much shorter version of Elekid's color pencil We Go opening (think DBZ abridged), it's pretty neat, but put a link to the full opening in the description, nobody likes watching the same thing over again.If you really want feedback, it's better to turn on the YouTube like/dislike system. (You have 6 months feedback down the drain.) Not only does having them off away viewers, it doesn't give you an idea if you have an audience, and makes it seem like the person uploading has no confidence about their content.
Good effort though. A lot of work was put into the sketches, perhaps the colors were a bit too pale but clearly a lot of work was put into them, screencaps from the anime would work just as well considering it is mainly still shots, you should concentrate on making the script and audio funny before laying down any sketches.
If you really want this fan-parody to work, listen to the bulk of what I'm saying, condense and edit the video properly, re-upload it, listen to the feedback and then create content for the next episode, it's doesn't take long to get feedback.
I did a lot of parody based stuff based on anime years back, the problem with comedies is that unless it is outrageously hilarious it's not going to be very popular, humor is one of the hardest genres to pull off.
Back then I made countless cartoons and promises of exciting projects which never came to existence, it's never good to dwell on what you are going to create when nothing is holding you back. Pretty stupid looking back at what I made years ago, but I had a lot of fun. Honestly, as long as you're enjoying what you are doing, you can always reflect on what you made at the time regardless of the outcome. -
This post is deleted!
-
Dropper, thanks again for the points you made. I discussed this with ShunketsuXZ and together we wanted to respond to a couple of your points:
Your jokes rely to much on swear words and parody songs on their own, it's a weird mash-up and could be a lot more subtle, not very appealing to older fans.
To be honest, the parody is intended for a relatively young and immature audience, as evidenced by the swear words, parody songs, and artstyle. I know that sounds weird, but we were going for a 11-18 age demographic, which makes up a good percentage of One Piece's fanbase. So yes, you are right that it may not appeal to older fans.
You should remove all the text after the intro as well as the credits, what is the point of informing people what they are about to watch if they were going to watch it anyway? There is a description section for a reason, stick it all in there.
It is well known that most people do not read the video description. We wanted to explain what the parody is about because it has 2 peculiar features that may confuse unaware viewers. First, it is a parody of the Arabasta Arc, which is not a current One Piece arc. Second, the scenes do not have continuity and they do not flow together because it is a "joke reel", so we wanted to make clear that the episode only covers four disjointed events. This can be confusing unless directly explained.
Also use a much shorter version of Elekid's color pencil We Go opening (think DBZ abridged), it's pretty neat, but put a link to the full opening in the description, nobody likes watching the same thing over again.
We are confused if you mean to shorten the opening for this episode or for future episodes. If you mean to shorten it for this episode, then you are assuming that everyone watching the parody has already seen the opening before, which simply isn't true. If you mean to shorten it for future episodes, then that is a good point.
If you really want feedback, it's better to turn on the YouTube like/dislike system. (You have 6 months feedback down the drain.) Not only does having them off away viewers, it doesn't give you an idea if you have an audience, and makes it seem like the person uploading has no confidence about their content.
The problem with comedic works is that tastes in humor are very subjective and relative. The rationale behind disabling the like/dislike system is that low ratings may discourage someone who would potentially enjoy the parody from watching it due to "dislikes" from those with a different taste of humor. According to ShunketsuXZ, all comments on the video (whether positive or negative) are welcome and he doesn't delete any of them. Constructive criticism such as your own (which a simple "dislike" cannot provide unlike a comment) is thoroughly welcome and can be used to improve the next episode, as you mentioned.
Thanks again for the critique. We agree with your other points and hope this clarifies the rationale a bit.
-
My short review, I respect that into! That's a LOAD of time put into it. The jokes are not really my cup of tea but again that intro though!
-
My short review, I respect that into! That's a LOAD of time put into it. The jokes are not really my cup of tea but again that intro though!
The jokes are definitely not everyone's cup of tea!
-
My issue with it is that you pretty much tell us EXACTLY what to expect from the getgo. Oh, Cobra's going to rant about something! Well, gee. Thanks for telling us EXACTLY what's happening here.
And I don't think "targetting a younger demo" is an excuse for what's essentially really bad comedy writing. This isn't an issue of subjective humor, you have no understanding or execution of basic comedic fundamentals at play here. For instance, for something to be funny, it should be clever or unexpected. Crocodile blurting out loud "gon cut you up with my big ass hook" or whatever is neither of those things. It's pretty much Crocodile's character exactly, just in an on-the-nose fashion. On-the-nose is the opposite of funny.
And I just don't find your subject matter very interesting or funny. The idea of Cobra ranting doesn't hold a lot of comedic potential on its own, but it's basically played here as straight as possible, with nothing really novel or exciting about it. Should Cobra had gone off on an elaborate, over-the-top rant about something allegorical, it has a bit more comedic potential because it's not as straightlaced as what you have here. There's just nothing laughable at all about the Cobra sequence, and I don't plan on watching any more, so I can't offer additional critique.
But as it is now it's just so not funny. =\ Which is a shame because the presentation is novel and what I heard of the We Go translation was pretty good.
-
My issue with it is that you pretty much tell us EXACTLY what to expect from the getgo. Oh, Cobra's going to rant about something! Well, gee. Thanks for telling us EXACTLY what's happening here.
And I don't think "targetting a younger demo" is an excuse for what's essentially really bad comedy writing. This isn't an issue of subjective humor, you have no understanding or execution of basic comedic fundamentals at play here. For instance, for something to be funny, it should be clever or unexpected. Crocodile blurting out loud "gon cut you up with my big ass hook" or whatever is neither of those things. It's pretty much Crocodile's character exactly, just in an on-the-nose fashion. On-the-nose is the opposite of funny.
And I just don't find your subject matter very interesting or funny. The idea of Cobra ranting doesn't hold a lot of comedic potential on its own, but it's basically played here as straight as possible, with nothing really novel or exciting about it. Should Cobra had gone off on an elaborate, over-the-top rant about something allegorical, it has a bit more comedic potential because it's not as straightlaced as what you have here. There's just nothing laughable at all about the Cobra sequence, and I don't plan on watching any more, so I can't offer additional critique.
But as it is now it's just so not funny. =\ Which is a shame because the presentation is novel and what I heard of the We Go translation was pretty good.
Interesting points! The Cobra Rant should not have been the first scene of the episode, in my opinion, because it originated as an inside joke amongst the Southerners who made this (hence the bad and stereotypical southern redneck accent). I think the second scene should have been first. I think you should watch the rest of the episode, because the other scenes may appeal to you more. The episode is cheesy the whole way through, but the other scenes utilize more of the comedic techniques you mentioned. And while I completely respect your wonderful opinion, I still stand by the point that humor is subjective, because several people in the crew (including myself) think that the Cobra Rant is one of the best scenes out of all three of the episodes. I remember one of the quality checkers (Airlight) laughed so hard at that scene that he almost choked and started coughing! Just thinking about that memory makes me chuckle!
The only other thing is that I think your example of the Crocodile "big-ass claw" line is a bit unfair. The writer of that line, Captain4eyez, intentionally made it lame and not funny. In the context of the scene, Crocodile makes a really bad/lame joke, and Cobra is not amused or impressed by it. It's definitely not a clever or funny line, but it's purposefully not supposed to be. You would have a point if you used pretty much any other line though.