(play me for dramatic effect)
Host: Good evening and welcome to this cycle's finale edition of Baroque Works' Next Top Model. I am your host, Mr. 0 himself! Kuahahahaha.
Audience: generous applause
Mr. 0: This year's girls have been at it all summer, competing in various challenges and stuff while you, the viewers at home, as well as our judging panel, get to decide who takes the crown! Speaking of judges, let's meet our panel now.
Mr. 3: Evaluating women is a very distinguished pasttime, one that us intellectuals are bound to enjoy.
Mr. 4: Uhhhhhhh, theeeeeeeeee moooooooooddddddddeeeeeeelllllllssssss tttttthhhhhhiiiissss yyyyeeeeaaaaarrrrr aaaarrrrreeee ssssppp-
Mr. 5: Alright, already! Like I've been saying all season, Mr. 0, this year's winner needs to be outright explosive.
Mr. 0: Thank you, judges! Now, over the course of the competition, several competitors were eliminated for receiving the lowest scores. In Week 2, Miss Friday lost because we never really got in touch with her human side. In Week 3, Miss Father's Day leapt from being a frontrunner to a frog on the side of the road. In Week 4, Miss Wednesday left the competition after her hypnotizing performances captivated audiences everywhere. And last week, we said goodbye to the fierce and very powerful Miss Monday. Let's now move on and meet the finalists!
Miss All-Sunday: I'm All-Sunday, and there's a zero percent chance these other girls will beat me.
Miss Doublefinger: I'm a distinguished kind of beauty, and I hope that appeals to the viewers at home.
Mr. 2 Bon Kurei: Whether I am a man, or whether I am a woman, the okama way guides me.~ I will win, as an example to my free-spirited brethren.
Miss Goldenweek: I like finger painting. I'm also really colorful.
Miss Merry Christmas: Who you calling a hag, huh, you morons! Morons! Morons! There's more of me to love, bakabaka baka!
Miss Valentine: I've floated my way to the final rounds I guess. Gee, these other guys are dumb thinking they can beat me. Kyahahaha!
Mr. 0: Yeesh, those girls are catty. Well, Arlong Park, it's time to decide who really is… Baroque Works' Next Top Model! And just for kicks, we're throwing in all the eliminated contestants too, because WHY NOT.
AND THEN SUDDENLY SOMETHING DRILLS THROUGH THE FLOOR
! Mr. 1: Put me in too, boss.
Mr. 0: Mr. 1? What is the meaning of this?
Mr. 1: My dream… is to be... a SUPA-model!