Please forgive me for the late responses, I haven't had either the time or proper internet access to answer. Also I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to write back, I truly appreciate any advice I'm given. :)
! @RPGJay:
! > LaCa I'm sorry that you had such an awful experience. I can't imagine how having a panic attack or being on the verge of one must feel like, so I don't really know what to say without potentially trivializing it (so if I do, I'm sorry). I'd recommend you do talk to your school psychologist about it, but the fact that you are very aware of how you progress from one stage of a panic attack to another is a good sign that you do know how to take care of yourself in these situations. Though your mom was definitely helpful that she knew what to do. If it creates less stress for you, try talking to your tutors so if it happens again when they're around they will know how to help you as best as they can.
Sorry that's not really helpful. ^_^;
! First off, you not being helpful or trivializing the matter is nonsense. So no need for saying that kind of stuff~ Secondly, yes, I am definitely going to seek professional help in this. Naturally I will let my friends know about this too and talking to them always makes me feel better, but ultimately friendship alone doesn't fix this kind of problem, not in my case at least. I actually never thought about how aware I am of the different stages in a panic attack, but it's true. Probably because I've dedicated countless hours into analyzing every little thing that occurs alongside with them. My tutors don't know about this yet, but I did tell my story to another classmate and it turns out she has had the same thing happen to her! So now I have at least one person who knows how to deal with me if I start panicking at school. :)
! @tigerlilly:
! > Holy shit LaCaSiNa!
Thank god you got out of this in the end!
I can't imagine what a panic attack really feels like, but I think it must be the most overhelming, torturous red fear that a human is able to feel. My respect for managing to keep up the willpower to not give in to that panic. I don't wanna imagine what would have happened, if your mom wasn't around! Glad she reacted in the way she did and you helped you to pull yourself out of this on your own!
I you have a psychologist, make use of him/her asap! Talking about this helps, especially if you do it with a professional!
LaCaSiNa, are you constantly living with the fear of a panic attack in the back of your, does it just randomly happen from time to time? Is it connected to your mood in any way?
I hope things get better for you! Keep your head up! You saw how strong you can be if the time calls for it.
! Different people experience fear, anxiety and panic in different ways. I can probably never describe in exhaustive detail what a panic attack feels like exactly, but for me it's like being swallowed and violently torn by a pitch black darkness of panic, my mind oozing poison and screaming. I feel almost completely separated from reality and tortured by my own bodily functions that are out of control. It's just… yeah. Being scared that you are going to choke/explode/have a nervous breakdown or a heart attack all at the same time.
! Thankfully I'm not constantly living in fear. It's there, but school is a pretty good distraction. However, now that it almost happened I'm much more sensitive to any type of anxiety I might feel, which creates vulnerability and stress. On Wednesday I was socializing with my classmates and suddenly recognized the beginning stages of overwhelming anxiety even though I was having fun, so I'm pretty sure my mood isn't connected to panic. Optimism is one of my strongest values and thus I'm generally quite positive, but the fact that I can be in a safe and comfortable situation and STILL suffer from distress is worrying. Well, being true to my nature I agree with you on trying to be strong and not giving into fear. ^^
! @Dryish:
! > Been there. Or, well, not exactly quite there, but close anyway. Some years ago, back when I was emotionally quite unstable due to various things, I used to get panic attacks of sorts. They were nowhere near as strong or all-encompassing as your seem to be, but I sure do know what you're talking about. The panic and the overwhelming feeling of everything seeming to collapse on you without a warning is horrible. You feel like a small helpless wild animal trying to flee for your life without having anywhere to go. You can't breathe properly, you can't think properly, you just panic. I used to get those attacks in the middle of the night and those added to my chronic sleeplessness.. Well you can imagine what my nights were like. First I stay awake for five hours just trying to stop your brain to get some sleep, which is unbelievably frustrating and then just when it begins to look like I could fall asleep, that hits. Nasty.
! I wouldn't downplay your experiences since it seems you also had quite a rough time, but I guess you could also have been suffering from anxiety attacks. What I highlighted in bold rings very true for me as well though. It's very difficult to fight it and fleeing is merely a temporary solution, or at least I prefer to stay in the same place where the attack started no matter how bad I feel.
! @Dryish:
! > I don't know about any pills, as I never used any. Nobody ever realised what I had were panic attakcs, and even if they did, I don't think I would've consented to taking any kind of medicine to get rid of them. The only thing that seemed to work for me was waiting. Trying your best to calm down and just breathe usually works after some time, even though it may first feel like it doesn't. When the worst is over, I usually turned my attention into something else. A book for example. Thinking about what just happened only makes you feel worse and you don't want that.
! When I told my mom about my attacks she insisted that I go see a doctor and I agreed. The doctor diagnosed me with anxiety disorder and prescribed antidepressants which I would have to take for at least six months in order for them to have any effect. At that time I was willing to try anything, but in the beginning I suffered a full week of side effects rendering me almost unable to do anything but lie in bed. I was constantly nauseated and dizzy and I remember nearly breaking down in a mall because I was afraid I'd faint(the day was, again, saved by my mom). If I forgot to take a pill, I'd get those same effects. After one and a half years I gradually quit taking antidepressants and I'm never going back to that crap again.
! I usually get through anxiety with calm breathing too, but as I said earlier it didn't help once the panic settled in. Believe me, I was breathing very slowly and steadily and my legs would still tremble all over and I couldn't relax the muscles in my midriff. Panic is something I don't want to wait to escalate, because it will. Sedatives are pretty much the only thing that can get me out of it. I agree on turning your attention away from what happened, dwelling on it might even start another one.
! @Dryish:
! > Anyway, don't fall into despair. Don't think too much about the attacks. If they come, you'll deal with them and move on. Your life has just started to look more bright and enjoyable, or that's at least what I've heard. Don't let this little nuisance spoil anything. You're too good for that.
! Yes, you are correct in that my life has taken a turn for a more enjoyable phase. I got into the school I wanted and not far from now I'll be able to live independently again. Which is why I don't want this to rear its ugly head again and possibly ruin everything. It never is just a "little nuisance", but I intend to prevent it from progressing into anything more than that. Thank you for your kind words Dryish, I wish you all the best.
! @CharmedWard:
! > @LaCa, I've only had a panic attack once and it was just caused by lots of little things adding up with one thing finally tipping me. I couldn't breath and was on the floor gasping. Was that what it was like for you? I'm glad you're better now, and that you had your mum with you (I was at school with my then best friend). Since it was illness that cause it -in a round about way- I can't really say much more about it. Just try not to get overwhelmed or do everything by yourself.
! I have never fallen to the floor, but I have experienced alarming difficulty in breathing which combined with chest tightness/pain creates a feeling of asphyxiation. Actually I need only one thing to tip me over the edge and that is nausea, which I have a strong phobia for. You don't need to worry about me being overwhelmed or alone, I know exactly what I need to do and have friends and family supporting me. :)
! @igetownd:
! > Panic attack with unknown cause? That's the most frustrating kind. While I wanted to suggest a doctor (psychiatrist) for that, your post says that you don't want to be put on meds, so I'll have to respect that. I think exercise is good self-therapy, but not the obsessive kind, such as running yourself into exhaustion and injury. Exercise major muscle groups, and do lots of aerobic stuff. Eat nutritious foods, such as leafy green vegetables, legumes, fruits, and grains. Eat so that you're not hungry, but not stuffed.
I know how meds suck. Doctors claim that the meds can treat your ailments, but those pills only do limited things, and complex conditions such as anxiety aren't simply solved with pills. I myself prefer lifestyle changes. Meds are really only helpful in extreme cases, and studies show that.
! Yeah, as I said I've been on meds before and don't want to use them ever again. I don't take sedatives for every little bit of anxiety I feel either, I try to reserve it for extreme cases. I actually signed up for pilates class this week and not only will it help with the bad shape I'm in, but it might give me more control of my body. Aerobics are kind of meh, since I'm really bad at keeping up with fast step patterns. :D A whole change of lifestyle seems a bit drastic to me, but otherwise I really appreciate the advice.
! @Chrissie:
! > LaCaSina baby I hope you find a way to deal with those awful panic attacks soon! D: -hugs- Stay strong love!
! Thank you Chrissie and don't worry, I'll take care of myself~