Magellan vs::
Shichibukai:
Blackbeard -He got owned. But not really.
Doflamingo -beats Magellan if he can control Magellan's bowels
Hancock -OHKO
Jimbei -can hurt Magellan, but at huge disadvantage on land.
Crocodile -will lose if poison dissolves sand
Kuma -Kuma's pretty much invincible. Plus, he gets upgrades.
Moria -they can fend off each other's attacks. Unless Moria does something stupid like Shadows Asgard.
Hawkeyes -wins.
Marines:
Garp -wins. He's Chuck Norris.
Sengoku -probably wins. dunno. then again, pwngoat.
Aokiji -freezes Magellan. He wins.
Kizaru -fries Magellan. He wins.
Akainu -ah, Clifford? Otherwise, dunno.
(Oh no. Aokiji=SubZero, Kizaru=Scorpion, Magellan=Reptile, Smoker=Smoke. So they're equal :P)
Smoker -can't affect each other.
Other marines -nah
Pirates:
Strawhats -Magellan wins.
Supernova -Magellan wins, except Apoo. Apoo wins if his music works, otherwise Magellan.
Van Augr -Magellan wins
Burgess -Magellan wins
Doc Q -Magellan wins
Laffitte -Magellan wins
Buggy -
Alvida -poison slips off. She wins.
Bellamy -he wins. j/k
Arlong -Magellan wins.
Kuro -Magellan wins.
Kreig -Magellan wins.
Foxy -Magellan wins.
Perona -she wins
Absolom -he loses
Shanks -He wins.
Whitebeard -He wins.
Ace -he can win.
Rayleigh -He wins.
Other:
Enel -he wins
Enel's priests -they lose
Dragon -I'd put my bets on Dragon
Ivankov -he loses, evidently
Inazuma -loses, too
Shandians -they lose
Male CP9 -Magellan wins
Califa -she wins. Soap washes away poison. But then again, soap is also a poison. Magellan gets a crush on her. Feeling is not mutual.
Morgan -um, this is really hard to decide
Mr. 5 -he sucks
Ms Valentine -she loses
Ms Goldenweek -she loses
Ms Merrychristmas -she loses
Ms Doublefinger -she loses
Mr. 4 -he loooooooooses
Galdino -can't beat the warden, but can try his luck
Bon-chan/Bentham -sorry Bon-boy
Mr 1 -proof of Magellan melting iron & steel
Chaka -Magellan wins
Pell -Pell wins
Dalton -Magellan wins
Wapol -can he eat poison? Magellan wins
Chessmarimo -Magellan wins
Demon beasts -Magellan
Sadi-chan -Magellan
Saldeath & Bluegori -Magellan
Hannyabal -Magellan wins, but "I will become Chief Warden!!!"
Shiryuu -dunno
Magellan -Uh, he loses?
Oda -SBS
[hide]Jesus -
Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; _where there is injury, pardon;_where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy. _O Divine Master,_grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life. He wins. Amen.
Bruce Lee -
Question: What are your thoughts when facing an opponent?
Bruce: There is no opponent.
Question: Why is that?
Bruce: Because the word ''l'' does not exist.
A good fight should be like a small play…but played seriously. When the opponent expands, l contract. When he contracts, l expand. And when there is an opportunity... l do not hit...it hits all by itself (shows his fist).
Any technique, however worthy and desirable, becomes a disease when the mind is obsessed with it.
Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.
Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.
The highest technique is to have no technique. My technique is a result of your technique; my movement is a result of your movement.
A good JKD man does not oppose force or give way completely. He is pliable as a spring; he is the complement and not the opposition to his opponent’s strength. He has no technique; he makes his opponent's technique his technique. He has no design; he makes opportunity his design.
One should not respond to circumstance with artificial and "wooden" prearrangement. Your action should be like the immediacy of a shadow adapting to its moving object. Your task is simply to complete the other half of the oneness spontaneously.
In combat, spontaneity rules; rote performance of technique perishes.
Do not be tense, just be ready, not thinking but not dreaming, not being set but being flexible. It is being "wholly" and quietly alive, aware and alert, ready for whatever may come.
The danger of training with the heavy bag is that it doesn't react to one’s attack and sometimes there is a tendency to thoughtlessness. One will punch the bag carelessly, and would be vulnerable in a real situation if this became a habit.
In JKD, one does not accumulate but eliminate. It is not daily increase but daily decrease. The height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.
In primary freedom, one utilizes all ways and is bound by none, and likewise uses any techniques or means which serves one's end. Efficiency is anything that scores.
A fight is not won by one punch or kick. Either learn to endure or hire a bodyguard.
The main characteristic JKD is the absence of the usual classical passive blocking. Blocking is the least efficient. Jeet Kune-Do is offensive; it's alive and it's free.
Bruce Lee is f*cking AWESOME
Rick James -I'm Rick James, Bitch.
Kyle Broflovski -FFFFUCK!
Superman -Magellan produces Kryptonite. Somehow.
Verizon Wireless -
Magellan: This place is a Dead Zone. Your voice will be unheard. Your calls unanswered. Your pleas ignored. Your fate sealed.
Inmate: But I've got the Verizon Network.
Verizon guy: We're good!
Magellan: Oh. slaughters all of them[/hide]