View Poll Results: ...because saving our planet is the thing to do?

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168. You may not vote on this poll
  • Kwame (Earth!)

    28 16.67%
  • Wheeler (Fire!)

    35 20.83%
  • Linka (Vind!)

    36 21.43%
  • Gi (Water!)

    24 14.29%
  • Ma-Ti (Heart!)

    61 36.31%
  • Suichi (the monkey!)

    54 32.14%
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Thread: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

  1. #21
    Your long-lost brother Jabra's Avatar
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    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    Quote Originally Posted by RobbyBevard View Post
    CLASSIC ROBBY CAPTAIN PLANET REVIEW- Abstinence!
    2-10-2004


    This was the very first one I actually did, so its a lot less focused on Captain Planet specifically. It's more just a blog entry.

    Hidden:
    So, last week I spent two days without sleep getting a book done, right? Obviously the side effect is, when I came home, I slept for a long time, but still didn't get fully rested. My sleep schedule was thus off the entire weekend, and come Monday morning, lo and behold, I wake up at 3 AM and can't get back to sleep again.

    So, my schedule is completely screwed. Hopefully today will basically get me back on schedule.

    On side notes, Zoids Chaotic Century is at the begining again, and I'm remebering how much I love this show.

    Captain Planet had a really stupid episode about overpopulation that involved Wheeler in a dream sequence. Oddly enough, a couple minutes in I thought it was the one where he dreamed he was in the future and he and Linka had like 20 kids. I was all ready to MST it and talk to myself about how much Linka must like Wheeler in the sack, but no, it WASN'T *that* episode about overpopulation, it was a different one with an entire race of smart rat people that all got killed in the end. (There was also a line adressed towards Kwami about planeteers being slaves. AN innocent line in and of itself, but when ONLY the black character comments on it... wierd...)

    So anyway, apparently Captain Planet had TWO episodes based on overpopulation. And of course at the end of every episode, they reprise the moral in their public service announcment. Recycle, don't cut down trees, save the whales, etc. Here the moral was, "When the time comes for you to have your own families, remember to keep it small!" Seriously, that was the line. And I found that really really weird.

    Captain Planet preaching abstinence and/or safe sex, albeit in a roundabout way? Somehow I don't think the target audience of kids 5-9 are really going to register that particular lesson, let along remember it 10 or 15 years later when said lesson is actually applicable. Just really strange.


    Wow, and I just really ranted about Captain Planet. SOrry, but I found that episode to be really off, and its early. Of course who knows, maybe some kids really loved the show and actually remember said lesson...

    On a side note, Pokemon is playing the island of the giant pokemon episode (they're really robots in an amusement park) and apparently Jessie got her Ekans for her birthday and James got Koffing for Christmas. Just a random fact I learned from early morning television...

    So, the morals for the day are...
    -Don't sleep in too much on weekends
    -Jessie and James have NEVER quite caught a pokemon
    -Family planning is important when you do it way down the road
    Hahaha, that was it!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by RobbyBevard
    Wow, and I just really ranted about Captain Planet. SOrry, but I found that episode to be really off, and its early. Of course who knows, maybe some kids really loved the show and actually remember said lesson...
    Dead laughing.
    Last edited by Jabra; September 23rd, 2012 at 11:34 AM. Reason: Actually that was the only message I can remember out of all the episodes I watched as a kid. It was that gross.


  2. #22

    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    CLASSIC ROBBY CAPTAIN PLANET REVIEW- Abstinence! The other one!
    9-28-2004


    This one I did before having to go to Jury Duty!

    Hidden:
    Got up early for Jury Duty, and caught Captain Planet. What is it about this crappy show I don't even like that compells me to watch it whenever I'm up at 4:30? I suppose its a combination of there being nothing else on, and it being so bad and campy that its funny.

    Any event, this was the OTHER birth control episode. I already rambled on the rat population birth control episode some months back, (early FEBRUARY apparently. I shouldn't have remembered having done that ramble) so there's not much point in rambling on the lunacy of trying to teach birth control to 8 year olds, its enough to point out that Wheeler tried to mack on Linka in the Tunnel of Love, started hallucinating, then imagined he and Linka were married, 40, and with 7 kids (all voiced by Kath Soucie, natch) and another on the way.

    Really there's only one way to think of that. Clearly, after all those years of protesting, once Linka and Wheeler finally did the dirty deed, Linka was hooked. I mean really, 8 kids? Wheeler musta been pretty good in the sack.

    Otherwise, it was amusing because all the characters were drawn with wrinkle lines and bitched about everything. "Oh geez Gaia, what is it NOW?" Oh yeah, and Wheeler's family had a mere 10 foot tv screen, while Kwame's only had 2 kids and a 40 foot TV screen. I think Kwame was compensating for something. (See earlier note about Wheeler obviously being good in the sack with Linka)

    Oh yeah, and all the villains were successful buisnessmen. Lootn' Plunder was a landlord and Dr. Blight has cosmetics. Wierdness.

    Even more odd that BOTH overpopulation episodes felt the need to have ludicrous dream sequences instead of just focusing on an actual real world situation overpopulated area in China or something, but then, I guess it *IS* a kid's show...

    Oh yeah, and for no real reason, this all took place on Wheeler's birthday. That's kinda extraneous, isn't it?

    So, the moral of this week's episode? Wheeler is good in bed and has more kids than he knows what to do with. But Linka clearly doesn't mind, tho all the other planeteers bitch about it. Tho I notice Gi and Matee were both still single, (Gi concerned about feeding her animals instead of her kids) and Kwame's supposed family of two kids was never seen, so I suppose they're all just bitter.

    Heck, Kwame probably had really ugly kids or something. All of Wheeler's and Linkas looked like them. Aw, animation cloning practices, still going strong, as seen in other series such as Dragonball and Digimon, where children will inevitably look EXACTLY like their parents...

    Aw well, I've rambled on yet ANOTHER episode of Captain Planet. What a horrible waste of journal space, eh? Ah well, off to Jury Duty in a few minutes...
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  3. #23
    the answer is screaming zachri's Avatar
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    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    Quote Originally Posted by RobbyBevard View Post
    CLASSIC ROBBY CAPTAIN PLANET REVIEW- Abstinence! The other one!
    9-28-2004


    This one I did before having to go to Jury Duty!

    Hidden:
    Got up early for Jury Duty, and caught Captain Planet. What is it about this crappy show I don't even like that compells me to watch it whenever I'm up at 4:30? I suppose its a combination of there being nothing else on, and it being so bad and campy that its funny.

    Any event, this was the OTHER birth control episode. I already rambled on the rat population birth control episode some months back, (early FEBRUARY apparently. I shouldn't have remembered having done that ramble) so there's not much point in rambling on the lunacy of trying to teach birth control to 8 year olds, its enough to point out that Wheeler tried to mack on Linka in the Tunnel of Love, started hallucinating, then imagined he and Linka were married, 40, and with 7 kids (all voiced by Kath Soucie, natch) and another on the way.

    Really there's only one way to think of that. Clearly, after all those years of protesting, once Linka and Wheeler finally did the dirty deed, Linka was hooked. I mean really, 8 kids? Wheeler musta been pretty good in the sack.

    Otherwise, it was amusing because all the characters were drawn with wrinkle lines and bitched about everything. "Oh geez Gaia, what is it NOW?" Oh yeah, and Wheeler's family had a mere 10 foot tv screen, while Kwame's only had 2 kids and a 40 foot TV screen. I think Kwame was compensating for something. (See earlier note about Wheeler obviously being good in the sack with Linka)

    Oh yeah, and all the villains were successful buisnessmen. Lootn' Plunder was a landlord and Dr. Blight has cosmetics. Wierdness.

    Even more odd that BOTH overpopulation episodes felt the need to have ludicrous dream sequences instead of just focusing on an actual real world situation overpopulated area in China or something, but then, I guess it *IS* a kid's show...

    Oh yeah, and for no real reason, this all took place on Wheeler's birthday. That's kinda extraneous, isn't it?

    So, the moral of this week's episode? Wheeler is good in bed and has more kids than he knows what to do with. But Linka clearly doesn't mind, tho all the other planeteers bitch about it. Tho I notice Gi and Matee were both still single, (Gi concerned about feeding her animals instead of her kids) and Kwame's supposed family of two kids was never seen, so I suppose they're all just bitter.

    Heck, Kwame probably had really ugly kids or something. All of Wheeler's and Linkas looked like them. Aw, animation cloning practices, still going strong, as seen in other series such as Dragonball and Digimon, where children will inevitably look EXACTLY like their parents...

    Aw well, I've rambled on yet ANOTHER episode of Captain Planet. What a horrible waste of journal space, eh? Ah well, off to Jury Duty in a few minutes...

    Is this filler match made for some...
    bigger purpose?
    Mainly...
    review spams?
    oh robby pls.

  4. #24
    Sweet Home Chicago Cyan D. Funk's Avatar
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    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    A lot of Wheeler's characterization makes sense when you learn that Ted Turner's apparently a communist

  5. #25
    Your long-lost brother Jabra's Avatar
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    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    Quote Originally Posted by zachri View Post
    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma...izmho2_250.gif
    Is this filler match made for some...
    bigger purpose?
    Mainly...
    review spams?
    oh robby pls.
    It's purpose is definitely to fuck with my brain, bringing up long forgotten childhood memories without warning. He already succeeded at that with his Sailor Moon thread, and look what happened during this tournament. He is certainly the most evil staff member around.
    Last edited by Jabra; September 23rd, 2012 at 11:45 AM. Reason: Oh it wasn't his thread, but he participated in it. And the point still stands.


  6. #26
    Ttorquaresz Nia's Avatar
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    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    Quote Originally Posted by Jabra View Post
    He is certainly the most evil staff member around.
    Well, yeah, people don't just go around blaming Robby for everything without a good reason!

  7. #27

    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    Quote Originally Posted by zachri View Post
    http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma...izmho2_250.gif
    Is this filler match made for some...
    bigger purpose?
    Mainly...
    review spams?
    oh robby pls.
    Nah, it just started out as a filler match, since the Banchi one went lopsided instantly, and I'm curious as to who would actually win. (I suspect Ma-Ti has a distinct advantage thanks to his recent Nostalgia Critic career.) But I sometimes forget the average age of this board is closer to 20 than 30, so the show is actually before the time of many of of you. Since there seems to be some confusion and lost-iness, I'm throwing up some old stuff I've already written for fun to help give a little idea of what the show was like.


    And that it was not in anyway good or remembered for its quality. It is fondly remembered for being stupid though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jabra View Post
    He already succeeded at that with his Sailor Moon thread
    I have no idea what you're talking about.

    He is certainly the most evil staff member around.
    There is that too.
    Last edited by Robby; September 23rd, 2012 at 11:50 AM.
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  8. #28

    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    Why isn't Gaia on the list ? Some good spank material to be had there.

    Everyone else on this show sucks, meybe besides Duke "What the hell is the deal behind that name" Nume.

  9. #29
    Sweet Home Chicago Cyan D. Funk's Avatar
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    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    Oh yeah that's right, they had a villain named Duke Nukem.

  10. #30

    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer


  11. #31
    the answer is screaming zachri's Avatar
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    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    Quote Originally Posted by RobbyBevard View Post
    Nah, it just started out as a filler match, since the Banchi one went lopsided instantly. But I sometimes forget the average age of this board is closer to 20 than 30, so the show is actually before the time of many of of you. Since there seems to be some confusion and lost-iness, I'm throwing up some old stuff I've already written for fun to help give a little idea of what the show was like.


    And that it was not in anyway good or remembered for its quality. It is fondly remembered for being stupid though.
    I remember someone did a anime parody of it in an AMV...
    Might have to get the video and then find the point it's at... it's only a short bit but yeah.
    Found the 'live' version of it

    I would say where it is but there'd be no fun in that.
    It's all pretty funny.

    --- Update From New Post Merge ---

    Quote Originally Posted by NateRich View Post
    ...is it bad that I thought this was serious at first for a few seconds when he spoke until the curse words came a flyin' faster than the speed of derp?

  12. #32

    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    CLASSIC ROBBY CAPTAIN PLANET REVIEW- Potatoes!
    2-09-2005


    Hidden:

    Couldn't sleep. Ended up watching stupid Captain Planet show. You all know the routine by now...

    I know right off its a "newer" episode because in the opening credits, Linka is from Eastern Europe instead of the Soviet Union. Poor Russian girl, her country falling apart in the course of the series... Of course, she's also a slut...

    The first thing of note is that the episode idea is credited to three different people. Followed by it being written by two other people. It takes FIVE PEOPLE to write an episode of Captain Planet? I suppose that does explain a lot...

    So its an episode I haven't seen before off the bat. The planeteers are working undercover in a potato processing factory thats being retrofitted to be more environmentally friendly, because such places clearly need all the help they can get. Kwami notes that "The potatoes processed here in a single day could feed my village for a year!" then someone else points out ,"Or Wheeler for a week!"
    "What? I'm a growing boy." Thus proving how impovershed Kwami's home is and what kind of gluttonous bastards us americans, like Wheeler, are.

    Then there's an accident at the factory, that nearly gets token black character, Kwami killed. Of course, its not an accident. Some quick exposition from the nice elderly plant manager later, and we learn the plant manager hired the planeteers to help out undercover, but the plant manager's son is like, evil and against progress for updating the factory, because its expensive. The usual, progress is expensive and not worth the cost, but in the long run it is... This doesn't stop Linka from flirting with evil son tho. Wheeler gets pissed off because evil manager's son is flirting with Linka, and because he's evil and snide. Calls Wheeler a "Potato bagger". Not much of an insult, since he is kinda undercover and doing exactly that, but it ticks Wheeler off all the same.

    Gang splits up. Linka notes with a wry hint in her voice "I'll follow the cute guy". Not those words, but its implied that that is the reason she's gonna follow the plant manager's evil son. ANother "accident" happens. Linka flirts with the cute but evil son of the manager some more (name Greg by the way). Wheeler abuses his power of fire to cook some french fries while being jealous in the meantime. LInka goes out on a walk with evil manager's son Greg and they look at the river. Evil manager's son tries to hit on Linka, but she's grossed out because "The water is all polluted. Your factory is screwy! This isn't romantic at all!"

    (Shouldn't it be the water user, Gi, who worries and notices all the dead fish in the water? No, because its more amusing for Linka to flirt and Wheeler to get upset about it I guess...)

    More stuff happens. Gi and Mati *who sucks* gets caught in some sort of life threatening situation by being pushed over a cliff and hanging onto a brach, and has to use his crappy heart power to save his ass by calling everyone else to save him. Because well, they're planeteers. They're always getting stuck in closets or mine shafts or the edges of cliffs or... fully functioning potoato processing plants.... or whatever.

    After Mati is saved, Wheeler snoops some more, and overhears evil manager's son Greg talking to mysterious shadowy figure. He then asserts "I know Greg is the saboteur! I heard him!" Obvious red herring. The guy may be cheap, but why sabotage his own factory? The real villain must be someone that hasn't been in the episode yet. Tricky, because we're in the last act by now. (ANd I've actually come to this conclusion during the episode, not now during the write up)

    Linka follows Greg, who says "I don't need anymore accusations." ANd now, in the last 4 minutes of the show, we discover that HOGGISH GREEDLY was hired on to help in the factory. You know, the big fat guy who's been menacing dolphins in the opening credits to the show since the very first episode. (And he's also screwed with Dolphins at least two other times I can think of. I guess because he's doing it in the opening credits, it inspires the show's five writers per episode to have Greedly mess with dolphins. Anyway...) Big shock, right. So, the stereotypical villain who likes polluting for the sake of polluting is really behind the sabotage because well, because he's HOGGISH GREEDLY! Evil polluter guy!

    Not you know, the evil manager's son who Linka has been flirting with who wants to make money over spending it on needless upgrades, which is legitimate. The easy last minute answer, stockpile villain instead who hasn't even been shown in shadow the whole episode.

    So Greedly runs, sets the factory on fire, (After having conveniently sabotaged the fire extinguishers) and we have peril in the.... ON FIRE! fully functioning potato processing plant.... and with two minutes left in the episode, Captain Planet is summoned, because well, its his show. ANd "He's got some spuds to soak!" Takes care of the fire, then chases down Greedly real easy, cause Greedly is trying to escape IN A REGULAR CAR, ON AN OPEN FIELD. Trying to escape the superstrong/fast flying guy who's dealt with much worse for many seasons, in a REGULAR CAR. Brilliant fatso. Anyway, the damage from the fire is minimal, despite it having been a massive threatening blaze of impending end of episode death, and "the power is yours!"

    Evil manager's son appologizes and says "I didn't understand how important the retrofitting was. But Linka showed me better." Linka keeps flirting. Wheeler appologizes, cause you know, he gets jealous when slutty Linka flirts with other people. Linka flirts some more, with the quote "We should all think bottom line green! Green planet that is!"

    And then the PSA that talks about getting special green light products. Special refrigerators and light bulbs and stuff. "They may cost more, but they last longer." "And remember to turn the lights off when you don't use them." Like little kids are actually gonna convince their parents to go out an buy a new refrigerator because of a 20 second PSA...

    So it boils down to, Linka flirts with any guy that isn't Wheeler, Wheeler gets jelous, Kwami is token black guy that nearly gets killed, Gi does nothing, Mati sucks, potato processing plants need to be upgraded or else then can kill you when upgraded by evil pig men in the last three minutes of the day, and Captain Planet is mostly a deus ex machina at this point used to chase down cars. Yeah, sounds like they had the formula down pretty good by season 7.

    Man this show sucks. Why do I enjoy it so much at 4:30 in the morning?
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  13. #33
    Your long-lost brother Jabra's Avatar
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    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    Quote Originally Posted by RobbyBevard View Post
    I have no idea what you're talking about.
    Spoiler:
    Me neither!


    Also.

    Last edited by Jabra; September 23rd, 2012 at 12:34 PM. Reason: Keep voting for heart!


  14. #34

    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    CLASSIC ROBBY CAPTAIN PLANET REVIEW- The website!
    1-02-2006



    Random tangenting led me to searching for Captain Planet: The Drinking Game. Didn't manage to find any such thing, but DID find a pretty amusing write up on all the show's characters.
    Hidden:
    Given that I've mercilessly mocked the show in the past, I thought I'd share, and record this for posterity. Also discovered that in the last season there was apparentlty a brand new theme song performed by the B-52's, and man, its just, wierdness personified.

    http://www.turner.com/planet/static/intro-song.html

    Also discovered many many people saying they liked the character of "Guya", and was wondering who the hell "Guya" was. After a bit of pondering and searching, it was revealed that "Guya" is actually "Gaia". I SUPPOSE Guya is kinda the phonetic spelling, but still...

    Anyway, the guy's rambles on the show' cast. Pretty entertaining.

    We all remember Captain Planet--the incredibly PC show about saving the environment and showing that people who don't want to save the environment are secretly mutated rats or evil rock-monsters. The theme song rocked. We probably even liked it as we were growing up.

    I had the displeasure of watching Captain Planet recently, and to my dismay, it really sucked. I mean, more than most kids shows do when you go back and watch them--it really sucked. I can't believe I didn't see it as a kid. In an effort to show that, I've written up these reminders of what the show was really like. Relive your childhood! Goooo Planet!

    Some information is taken from the Official Captain Planet Website and then mocked here mercilessly.

    THE PLANETEERS
    Kwame - I really don't know much about Kwame except that he was always the one to say "Let our powers combine!" So now I'm wondering: were those words really necessary? If not, did the other kids know? Did they just let him say his little catch phrase so he could feel good about himself? He had the power to cause huge earthquakes, sinkholes, and whatever else you could do if you had supernatural control over rocks, dirt, and the like. He could make spikes shoot up from the ground or open up huge holes to swallow up bad guys, but he never did; he obviously had severe self-esteem issues. Maybe "Let our powers combine!" was all he had in this world.

    The website states of Kwame, "Though fundamentally serious, he has an impish sense of humor and often delivers off-the-wall lines in perfect deadpan." I don't seem to remember that at all. If there was a drinking game that said to take a drink whenever Kwame delivered an off-the-wall line in perfect deadpan, I could be sober forever. All I remember him saying is his catch phrase, and him occasionally yelling at Wheeler for setting Ma-Ti's monkey on fire. The website also states that he is an excellent gardener. Just in case you were wondering.



    Wheeler - Amazingly, Wheeler manages to know absolutely nothing about ecology. You'd think that Gaia, being the goddess of the earth with a magical crystal thing, would be able to figure this out before she gave him a Planeteer ring, but she still seems to be oblivious to this fact. If that weren't enough, they give him the most destructive ring they had access to. "What do we give the snot-nosed American who doesn't know anything about ecology? How about a FIRE ring!" Sure, why not give him a toxic-waste anklet while you're at it.

    When he's not setting tropical rain forests on fire, Wheeler is either delivering a bad pun about fire or trying to pick up Linka, who is quite possibly the worst match in the world for him. If I were him, I'd go for Gaia. She obviously has the hots for him, since she gave him the magic fire ring even though he doesn't even care about the environment.



    Linka - The website states that Linka is "the most cerebral of the five Planeteers." What they really mean is that Linka is the most anal-retentive of the five Planeteers. She's the uptight one. Every kids show has one--we had Brainy Smurf, Storm from X-Men, Leonardo from the Ninja Turtles (Raphael in the comics), Piggy on Muppet Babies. But Linka takes this to a whole new level. You'd think an environmentalist show would stay away from the stereotypical tree-hugger, but they seemed to use that as a model for Linka. If you tell a joke, Linka will say, "Why are you wasting time on jokes? Three whales just died as we were laughing!" If you go to the bathroom, Linka will say, "Don't you dare flush that! You'll screw up the ecosystem in Antarctica!"

    The writers of the show constantly stress how humorless Linka is by putting her and Wheeler together for long periods of time. They're paired together like Fred and Daphne. Linka and Wheeler would go off to find where all the toxic waste was coming from, and Wheeler would say something along the lines of, "You're hot. I'm American. Let's make out." Linka would then reply, "How can you waste time making out? Three whales just died as you distracted me from driving!" This happened every episode.



    Gi - Gi is a total babe. If she knew how attractive she was, she wouldn't spend all her time with these Planeteer geeks. Her attractiveness is what prompted the network to dress them in those ridiculous clothes. "This is supposed to be an educational show!" remarked Ted Turner, "We can't have them looking better than me. Give them ridiculous clothes. Especially that hot Asian chick. The water girl."

    I'm really glad they didn't make Gi the stereotypical Asian kid who's really good at Calculus and doesn't say a lot. However, in doing so, they also sapped her of character development of any kind in the show. She was one of the most understated characters in the whole show. Did you know she liked surfing and rock music? No. All people know about her is that she's the water girl. But not me. I know everything about her. Did you know she's a C-cup? I did.



    Ma-Ti - Ma-Ti is Aquaman for our generation. In the opening credits, all the Planeteers are shown using their powers. Kwame shouts "Earth!" and a big rock flies up out of nowhere. Wheeler shouts "Fire!" and shoots some fire out of his ring. Ma-Ti shouts "Heart!" and his loser monkey friend runs onto the screen. His only purpose in the show was to be captured, then send his pet monkey to get help.

    The similarities between Ma-Ti and Aquaman are astounding. Both of them spent at least 90% of their time out of their element. If the Planeteers were all going to a rain forest full of savage monkey-beasts, but needed one person to disarm the robot guards, Ma-Ti would be the one to do it. Aquaman and Ma-Ti would have a lot to talk about, actually:

    Aquaman: One time, we were fighting off villains underwater and this fish told a really funny joke.

    Ma-Ti: Really? The same thing happened to me!

    Aquaman: No kidding! Did you get captured all the time, too?

    Ma-Ti: Yes! One time, it took the Planeteers so long to find me that I tried to hook up with some of the livestock that they had me locked up with. Most of them were pretty dull, but there was this one calf with blue eyes and a great personality. Her name was Mona.

    Aquaman: ...

    THE BIG GUYS

    Captain Planet - Ah, Captain Planet, the star of the show. Seriously, who doesn't love a green mullet? As an environmental superhero who fights pollution (things like smog, toxic waste, and acid rain), he has all the superpowers of nature on his side. His only weakness is exposure to pollutants (things like smog, toxic waste, and acid rain). Is that a good thing? It seems really ecological, and all, but would you send a firefighter into a burning building with clothes made of tissue paper doused in gasoline? It seems like the Planeteers might be better off on their own, because they can take a little bit of pollution and keep right on going. Especially that American kid.


    Okay, now check out those clothes. Here's what the website says: "Captain Planet only appears in his Captain Planet garb. These are not clothes but elements of the Earth that are integral to his composition." Ah! So it's okay if his clothes suck--they're integral to his composition! But what about the green mullet? Is that integral to his composition, or is it from his side job as an ecological country singer? Also from the website: "Captain Planet's outfit does not represent a specific culture," not because Captain Planet is crossing cultural boundaries, but because no culture on Earth wants to be associated with that outfit.



    Gaia - The spirit of Earth. She was originally voiced by Whoopi Goldberg. How cool is that? I keep hoping it'll be like Sister Act and she'll make all the Planeteers sing "Oh Happy Day," but that has never (to my knowledge) happened on the show.

    The website says, "she feels anguish whenever damage is done to the planet, its seas, atmosphere, or any living creatures." Doesn't that seem a little extreme? She seems to be in pretty good cheer, considering how many bad things happen every minute. You'd think she would have killed the American kid by now for setting all kinds of living creatures on fire:

    Wheeler: Ow! That little furry thing bit me!

    (Wheeler uses his ring to set the furry thing on fire.)

    Gaia: Aaargh!! Anguish!

    Wheeler: Heh heh... It's not furry anymore.

    Gaia: Ohh!! Stop the torment!

    And that happens every time you swat a mosquito or step on an ant, too. Gaia has to be the most desensitized person ever.

    THE VOICES

    Do you seriously know how many famous people were involved in Captain Planet? It's ridiculous. Here's the brief:


    LeVar Burton as Kwame. This guy had a monopoly on kids' imaginations in the early 90s: this show for the hippy kids, "Star Trek: The Next Generation" for the nerdy kids, and "Reading Rainbow" for the literary kids. LeVar, the power is yours.


    Whoopi Goldberg as Gaia. Oh happy day! Anything can be made better with Whoopi.



    Edward Asner as Hoggish Greedly. I never really got this guy. Hoggish Greedly, I mean. Well, I guess I never really got Asner, either. I mean, I know the name, but I have no idea who he is.


    Tim Curry as MAL. I think MAL was Dr. Blight's computer; kinda like HAL, but more into polluting things for senselessly evil purposes. He did play the devil in Legend, so I guess he's good at it.


    Jeff Goldblum as Duke Nukem. Jeff Goldblum is so awesome.



    Helen Hunt as... Additional Voices! She didn't even have a character with a name! She was just the woman that Captain Planet saved from the burning building.


    Meg Ryan as Dr. Blight. I don't think I can see Meg Ryan as a villain. It would taint my image of her.



    Martin Sheen as Sly Sludge. He was the one that always said, "You'll pay for this, Captain Planet!"



    Sting as Zarm. Zarm was a conqueror from outer space who occasionally tried to incite nuclear war on Earth for absolutely no reason. But seriously, who would make a better intergalactic conquerer than Sting?

    Scott Menville as Ma-Ti. Okay, I've never heard of him, either, but let's look at some of the other voices he's done: Robin in "Teen Titans" (that's right, the whiny, prepubescent superhero kid in tights), Joe McIntyre in "New Kids on the Block," Brian in "Rainbow Brite," Danny in My Little Pony: The Movie. Seeing a trend? But before you think he's a total pansy, let's look at his crowning achievement: Jonny Quest in "Jonny Quest"!! Actually, he was in the 80s remake of the original series, but still... Jonny Quest...
    To support Viz hosting all Jump manga for FREE and day of release, Arlong Park will now support the official release.
    https://www.viz.com/shonenjump

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    Please do not post threads when scan sites release their version, and just discuss those releases in the spoiler thread.

  15. #35
    Yohohohohoho~! SkullJoke's Avatar
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    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer



    Quote Originally Posted by Renegadesoul View Post
    THE HOGYOKU TROLLED AIZEN IN THE END, its a FITTING TRAGIC yet a bit COMIC PSEUDO ENDING FOR HIM.


  16. #36
    Sweet Home Chicago Cyan D. Funk's Avatar
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    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    I thought Jeff Goldblum played the rat guy.

  17. #37

    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    Quote Originally Posted by Cyan D. Funk View Post
    I thought Jeff Goldblum played the rat guy.
    So he did. *shrugs* Blame the old website I got the info from 6 years ago. Duke Nukem is funner to say anyway.

    And speaking of Duke Nukem... this is a short one. I only have a couple more of these, honest.

    CLASSIC ROBBY CAPTAIN PLANET REVIEW- Captain planet is weakened by the SUN?!?
    2-02-2005


    Hidden:

    Really, he is.

    This morning's episode involves Duke Nukem, (the one villain of the series that makes sense to be trying to destroy the environment because a nuclear mutated radiation freak of nature. I have no idea what the hell drives his sniveling radiation suit sidekick to work with him) is trying to destroy THE OZONE LAYER. He goes about this by attacking an ozone research factory in the Australian outback. And manages to utterly destroy Cap thanks to some excess solar energy. (You know, the stuff that healed him in the first episode.)

    I don't think I need to say much beyond the premise to get across how ludicrous this stupid show is, beyond the fact that Captain Planet is apparently incredibly weak to UV radiation. How the HECK does this loser fight pollution when he's weak to pollution of any sort, AND things in nature that are supposed to power him?

    Anyway, after a bad joke about the planeteers having to survive in the outback despite snakes, razorbacks, killer winds, and scorching sun, Nukem tries blowing up CFC cans and stuff to lure the planeteers out. They summon Captain loser again, who puts on sunglasses and a hat, and is then fine against the UV raditation, and takes the nuclear villain out real easy.

    Man this show sucks. Man I hate waking up early and watching it. But its just SO stupid! I have to watch.

    But really. He's weak against freakin' UV radiation? Captain Planet with his shiny blue skin and green hair and supposedly powered by nature abilities needs sunblock? Eeesh. THe sun should supercharge him or something.
    To support Viz hosting all Jump manga for FREE and day of release, Arlong Park will now support the official release.
    https://www.viz.com/shonenjump

    Official chapter discussions now start Sundays at Noon, EST.
    Please do not post threads when scan sites release their version, and just discuss those releases in the spoiler thread.

  18. #38

    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    Quote Originally Posted by Cyan D. Funk View Post
    Oh yeah that's right, they had a villain named Duke Nukem.
    He's the only one who looked kinda cool.

    Because, ya know, yellow radioactive rock person with mohawk wearing a hawaiian shirt. That is awesome, however you look at it.

  19. #39
    Sweet Home Chicago Cyan D. Funk's Avatar
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    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    Quote Originally Posted by RobbyBevard View Post
    So he did. *shrugs* Blame the old website I got the info from 6 years ago. Duke Nukem is funner to say anyway.

    And speaking of Duke Nukem... this is a short one. I only have a couple more of these, honest.

    CLASSIC ROBBY CAPTAIN PLANET REVIEW- Captain planet is weakened by the SUN?!?
    2-02-2005


    Hidden:

    Really, he is.

    This morning's episode involves Duke Nukem, (the one villain of the series that makes sense to be trying to destroy the environment because a nuclear mutated radiation freak of nature. I have no idea what the hell drives his sniveling radiation suit sidekick to work with him) is trying to destroy THE OZONE LAYER. He goes about this by attacking an ozone research factory in the Australian outback. And manages to utterly destroy Cap thanks to some excess solar energy. (You know, the stuff that healed him in the first episode.)

    I don't think I need to say much beyond the premise to get across how ludicrous this stupid show is, beyond the fact that Captain Planet is apparently incredibly weak to UV radiation. How the HECK does this loser fight pollution when he's weak to pollution of any sort, AND things in nature that are supposed to power him?

    Anyway, after a bad joke about the planeteers having to survive in the outback despite snakes, razorbacks, killer winds, and scorching sun, Nukem tries blowing up CFC cans and stuff to lure the planeteers out. They summon Captain loser again, who puts on sunglasses and a hat, and is then fine against the UV raditation, and takes the nuclear villain out real easy.

    Man this show sucks. Man I hate waking up early and watching it. But its just SO stupid! I have to watch.

    But really. He's weak against freakin' UV radiation? Captain Planet with his shiny blue skin and green hair and supposedly powered by nature abilities needs sunblock? Eeesh. THe sun should supercharge him or something.
    Always bet on Duke .

  20. #40

    Default Re: FILLER MATCH: Best Planeteer

    Hitler in Captain Planet.

    Seriously.

    Well. Bizarro Hitler. Captain Planet meets Hitler... and we see his stupidest weakness yet. Apparently, Hitler has a magic death stare that can kill Captain Planet while a nuclear explosion can't.



    Hey, Mati knocked a guy out!
    To support Viz hosting all Jump manga for FREE and day of release, Arlong Park will now support the official release.
    https://www.viz.com/shonenjump

    Official chapter discussions now start Sundays at Noon, EST.
    Please do not post threads when scan sites release their version, and just discuss those releases in the spoiler thread.

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