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Thread: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

  1. #6681

    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    I've gotten a couple PMs on this asking me about this lost Reunion scene thing, so I figured I should clarify. Naruto is actually an ancient Florin manuscriptt written about 400 years ago. Kishimoto loved the book as a child, his father read it him and his twin brother. So, Kishi, after becoming a mangaka, wanted to adapt it for publication. (much like Monkey Punch and Lupin the 3rd being based on Arsene Lupin.)

    And for the most part he's stayed true to the original text, with few abridgements here and there. But upon getting to part 2, the original Florin text from 400 years ago began ignoring the secondary cast more. Kishimoto himself a solid writer, wanted to remedy this situation by writing original scenes between the characters, but his editor said that he was presenting a manga form of a classic novel, and while it was okay to trim stuff, AADDING material was certainley taboo. They reached a compromise, and put in a footnote where anyone interested could write in and get a copy of the great romantic character developing scene. I'm reproducing it here for everyone's conveniance.

    Spoiler:
    From the Desk of MASASHI KISHIMOTO



    Dear Reader,



    Thank you for sending in, and, no, this is not the reunion scene, because of a certain roadblock named Kermit Shog.



    As soon as bound books were ready, I got a call from my lawyer, Yoshi -- (you may not remember, but Yoshi's the one I called from Kyoto go down in the blizzard and buy Naruto from the used-book dealer). Anyway, he usually begins with Talmudic humor, wisdom jokes, only this time he just says "Kishi, I think you better get down here," and before I'm even allowed to say a 'why?' he adds, "Right away if you can."


    Panicked, I zoom down, wondering who could have died, did I flunk my tax audit, what? His secretary lets me into his office and Yoshi says, "This is Mr. Shog, Kishi."


    And there he is, sitting in the corner, hands on his briefcase, looking exactly like an oily version of Peter Lorre. I really expected him to say, "Give me the Falcon, you must, or I'll be forced to keeel you."


    "Mr. Shog is a lawyer," Yoshi goes on. And this next was said underlined: "He represents the Naruto estate."


    Who knew? Who could have dreamed such a thing existed, an estate of a man dead at least a million years that no one ever heard of over here anyway? "Perhaps you will give me the Falcon now," Mr. Shog said. That's not true. What he said was, "Perhaps you will like a few words with your client alone now," and Yoshi nodded and out he went, and once he was gone I said, "Yoshi, my God, I never figured --" and he said, "Did Jump?" * and I said, "Not that they ever mentioned" and he said, "Ooch," the grunting sound lawyers make when they know they've backed a loser. "What does he want?" I said. "A meeting with Mr. Toriyama," Yoshi answered.


    Now, Kenichi Toriyama is a pretty busy fella, but it's amazing when you're confronted with a potential multibillion-dollar lawsuit how fast you can wedge in a meeting. We trooped over.


    All the Jump Brass was there, I'm there, Yoshi; Mr. Shog, who would sweat in an igloo he's so swarthy, is streaming. Jump's lawyer started things: "We're terribly terribly sorry, Mr. Shog. It's an unforgivable oversight, and please accept our sincerest apologies." Mr. Shog said, "That's a beginning, since all you did was defame and ridicule the greatest modern master of Florinese prose who also happened to be for many years a friend of my family." Then the business head of Jump said, "All right, how much do you want?"


    Biiiig mistake. "Money?" Mr. Shog cried. "You think this is petty blackmail that brings us together? Resurrection is the issue, sir. Naruto must be undefiled. You will publish the original version." And now a look at me. "In the unabridged form."


    I said, "I'm done with it, I swear. True, there's just the reunion scene business we printed up, but there's not liable to be a rush on that, so it's all past as far as I'm concerned." But Mr. Shog wasn't done with me: "You, who dared to defame a master's characters are now going to put your words in their mouths? Nossir. No, I say." "It's just a little thing," I tried; "a couple pages only."


    Then Mr. Toriyama started talking softly. "Kishi, I think we might skip sending out the reunion scene just now, don't you think?" I made a nod. Then he turned to Mr. Shog. "We'll print the unabridged. You're a man who is interested in immortality for his client, and there aren't as many of you around in publishing as there used to be. You're a gentleman, sir." "Thank you," from Mr. Shog; "I like to think I am, at least on occasion." For the first time, he smiled. We all smiled. Very buddy-buddy now. Then, an addendum from Mr. Shog: "Oh, Yes. Your first printing of the unabridged will be 100,000 copies."


    So far, there are thirteen lawsuits, only eleven involving me directly. Yoshi promises nothing will come to court and that eventually Harcourt will publish the unabridged. But legal maneuvering takes time. The copyright on Naruto runs out in early '08, and all of you who wrote in are having your names put alphabetically on computer, so whichever happens first, the settlement or the year, you'll get your copy of the emotional reunion scene.

    *signature* Kishi

    So, there you have it. The asinine plot twists and lack of character development are not Kishi's fault. His hands are clearly tied! Perhaps when he does his own original series eventually we'll get to see all the good stuff.
    Last edited by Robby; May 27th, 2009 at 01:36 PM. Reason: Tigerlilly- it amuses me greatly to see old stuff puilled up like that. Yes, Rin will be great!
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  2. #6682

    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    I've given up for any more side character care from Kishi anyway. They were just added to the series for the typical reason side characters are introduced at that point in a shonen: lovable obstacles for the hero to surpass on his way to the top. Sadly he seemed to care about developing them more beyond that prior to the time skip to avoid in telling people that.
    Y'know, Negima WAS awesome...
    For the first 18 volumes.

  3. #6683

    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    I always criticised dragon ball because of the way Toriyama always resurrected his characters after the end of an arc, and this isnít the first time the same thing happens in Naruto, itís a repeat of the revival Gaara arc. If Kishi doesnít want the characters to die then he should just make them survive the fights instead of killing them and proceed to later revive them. Yes, in One Piece no one ever dies, but if you ask me, thatís way better than the way Kishi ended this and the first arc of part two.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tokoro Ataru View Post
    I've given up for any more side character care from Kishi anyway. They were just added to the series for the typical reason side characters are introduced at that point in a shonen: lovable obstacles for the hero to surpass on his way to the top. Sadly he seemed to care about developing them more beyond that prior to the time skip to avoid in telling people that.
    There arenít enough villains for the side characters to fight so they canít play any role, with only so few villains only the main characters get to do something, and I donít think thatís going to change.

  4. #6684

    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    Quote Originally Posted by antiravage View Post
    I always criticised dragon ball because of the way Toriyama always resurrected his characters after the end of an arc, and this isn’t the first time the same thing happens in Naruto, it’s a repeat of the revival Gaara arc. If Kishi doesn’t want the characters to die then he should just make them survive the fights instead of killing them and proceed to later revive them. Yes, in One Piece no one ever dies, but if you ask me, that’s way better than the way Kishi ended this and the first arc of part two.
    At least the dragonballs were a legitimate established from the getgo plotdevice that the whole series circled around in Dragonball. They were kind of, initially, the entire point.

    They got abused as a magic undo button LATER when the wish count got upgraded and the body counts grew... but they were mostly playing fair being a key component of the series, and originally they had to go upon epic quests to gather them to ressurect someone, and that was the goal and the entire point of the story in and of itself.
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  5. #6685
    Banned Rank: Failed Mutineer
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    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    Naruto is a sin.

  6. #6686

    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    I like the Christianity eyes better, evil subliminal messaging is awesome.

  7. #6687

    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    Quote Originally Posted by Yonkou#3 View Post
    Naruto is a sin.
    Kishi himself is a sin.

    I can't BELIEVE where this series is going!

  8. #6688
    Discovered Stowaway fedcom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    O man Naruto is just getting better and better.
    NNID: julsjacket

  9. #6689

    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    Oh God, let's not bring shipping into this discussion. Naruto is terrible enough without the fans trying to play matchmaker.

  10. #6690

    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    Quote Originally Posted by Yuugi's Black Magician View Post
    Oh God, let's not bring shipping into this discussion. Naruto is terrible enough without the fans trying to play matchmaker.
    Yeah, we should just focus on the actual couples that make sense that seem to be headed towards canon.

    Naruto and Hinata are the best couple, because Hinata liked Naruto from the getgo for his attitude, personality and ambition (haki), long before he became uber destined to be god of combat hokage material. As opposed to the completley shallow interactions the rest of the cast had for most of the series. Naruto's original crush on Sakura was based solely on looks, similarly Sakura's crush on Sasuke was sheerly because "he's so cool." Completley sperficial, as 12 year olds are apt to be.

    Hopefully next time Sakura and Sasuke meet, shell have outgrown him. But it would completley suck if Naruto and Sakura ended up dating, that would just be.. so shallow and empty.

    And Temari and Shikimaru should just get it over with and shack up already.
    Last edited by Robby; May 27th, 2009 at 06:47 PM. Reason: who the hell was talking about shipping before this? not me, I was talking about an ancient Florian text...
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  11. #6691
    POE WUN BGR Greg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    *deep breath*



    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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  12. #6692

    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    Wait, what?

    Sakura and Naruto's relationship has actually had development. Originally, she hated him, in her immaturity, based solely upon (we should assume) the village both loathing him and his personality. Then, she began to see Naruto actually had some guts to him throughout their missions, and he become more or less an annoying little brother, then as Naruto's true courage and commitment to her behind to come to light (y'know, what with spending three years of killing himself to bring back douchebag Sasuke for her sake) she--coupled in response to her own growth during the ChŻnin exam--began to recognize--as we can infer from those moments with (was it Granny Chiyo?)--that she appreciates Naruto far more than her stupid crush on Sasuke.

    It doesn't really matter what anyone says, I'm utterly convinced that Sakura, having matured, loves Naruto for who he is and that she will be the one Naruto winds up with.

    Honestly, I think Shino is a far better pair for Hinata, but that's just me.

  13. #6693
    Great sage,equal of heaven Darkstorm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    Quote Originally Posted by Yuugi's Black Magician View Post
    It doesn't really matter what anyone says, I'm utterly convinced that Sakura, having matured, loves Vegeta for who he is and that she will be the one Vegeta winds up with.
    Fixed. .

  14. #6694
    Is dripping madness Jarhead's Avatar
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    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    Quote Originally Posted by Greg View Post
    *deep breath*



    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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    Is that laughter for madness or sadness or just for lulz?
    Have you had the dream again? A black goat with seven eyes that watches from the outside.

  15. #6695

    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    Quote Originally Posted by Yuugi's Black Magician View Post
    It doesn't really matter what anyone says, I'm utterly convinced that Sakura, having matured, loves Naruto for who he is and that she will be the one Naruto winds up with.
    Why does Naruto have to choose? He's going to be Hokage. And Hokage is the biggest pimp in the land that sleeps with the most villagers. (Tsunade brought the "ho" back into "hokage", thats why she got the job so easily.)

    Like I just said a couple posts back, and currently in my sig, the path to ninja peace according to Juraiya's dream is a giant ninja orgy that Naruto will by himself take care of using clones, pleasuring everyone in the village all at once. With Sexy no Jutsu gender replacements where apllicable. He'll get Sakura AND Hinata. Even poor useless Ten Ten can get a little Naruto action. And Rock Lee, for that matter.

    But no loving for Sasuke. None. No way. Nuh uh. Hes a traitor and abandoned the village, so he doesnt get to participate in any sexy parties.
    Last edited by Robby; May 28th, 2009 at 07:49 AM.
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  16. #6696
    Great sage,equal of heaven Darkstorm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    Narutorgy? The guy's always trying to copy Luffy...

  17. #6697
    Aspiring Film Critic TLC's Avatar
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    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    Quote Originally Posted by robbybevard View Post
    Why does Naruto have to choose? He's going to be Hokage. And Hokage is the biggest pimp in the land that sleeps with the most villagers. (Tsunade brought the "ho" back into "hokage", thats why she got the job so easily.)

    Like I just said a couple posts back, and currently in my sig, the path to ninja peace according to Juraiya's dream is a giant ninja orgy that Naruto will by himself take care of using clones, pleasuring everyone in the village all at once. With Sexy no Jutsu gender replacements where apllicable. He'll get Sakura AND Hinata. Even poor useless Ten Ten can get a little Naruto action. And Rock Lee, for that matter.

    But no loving for Sasuke. None. No way. Nuh uh. Hes a traitor and abandoned the village, so he doesnt get to participate in any sexy parties.
    OMG, OMG, this was the best post yet XDXDXD

  18. #6698
    BEST! BREAST!! CON-TEST!!! dirt monkey AL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    Quote Originally Posted by robbybevard View Post
    Why does Naruto have to choose? He's going to be Hokage. And Hokage is the biggest pimp in the land that sleeps with the most villagers. (Tsunade brought the "ho" back into "hokage", thats why she got the job so easily.)

    Like I just said a couple posts back, and currently in my sig, the path to ninja peace according to Juraiya's dream is a giant ninja orgy that Naruto will by himself take care of using clones, pleasuring everyone in the village all at once. With Sexy no Jutsu gender replacements where apllicable. He'll get Sakura AND Hinata. Even poor useless Ten Ten can get a little Naruto action. And Rock Lee, for that matter.

    But no loving for Sasuke. None. No way. Nuh uh. Hes a traitor and abandoned the village, so he doesnt get to participate in any sexy parties.
    oh, so that's why it fails so hard

    not as pimp as our Saviour, Luffy

    praise Luffy Harem
    Quote Originally Posted by Silence View Post
    And when this manga closes out, and Luffy's arm stretches back to deliver that last punch, I wanna feel the crunch of the dream coming true.



  19. #6699

    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    I'm actually laughing out loud here. It's completely absurd how bad this chapter is.

  20. #6700
    Is dripping madness Jarhead's Avatar
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    Default Re: Naruto Discussion V [Re-Re-Redux]

    Quote Originally Posted by Shigan View Post
    I'm actually laughing out loud here. It's completely absurd how bad this chapter is.
    Hey, it's as low you can go!
    LIMBO!
    Have you had the dream again? A black goat with seven eyes that watches from the outside.

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