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Type: Posts; User: ChesCa

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  1. Thread: Spirit Wolf

    by ChesCa
    Replies
    35
    Views
    60,546

    Re: Spirit Wolf

    I like that old woman already. She adds a new element to the Spiritless Men: knowing what a Tonrar is and yet hating it anyway.

    Chena's exposition dump was pretty bad. :/ Find some way to have her...
  2. Thread: Spirit Wolf

    by ChesCa
    Replies
    35
    Views
    60,546

    Re: Spirit Wolf

    The twist is nice but Anyu and Sirmiq's dialogue feels too on the nose about the motivations of their tribe and their prejudices and such. Could use more clean up there.

    Also Numilik sucks at...
  3. Thread: Spirit Wolf

    by ChesCa
    Replies
    35
    Views
    60,546

    Re: Spirit Wolf

    Aside from the usual 'read it aloud' stuff I say so that you can catch redundancies and stuff (also I'm tired bleh) I like the plot around Tikaani and Nukilik being expanded upon and I also love how...
  4. Thread: Spirit Wolf

    by ChesCa
    Replies
    35
    Views
    60,546

    Re: Spirit Wolf

    One more story to go after this. @_@

    WG puts it better than I can: Nukilik both helps give the story direction and brings Nukka's past behavior to the forefront. There also seem to be hints that...
  5. Thread: Spirit Wolf

    by ChesCa
    Replies
    35
    Views
    60,546

    Re: Spirit Wolf

    Ugh, how long has it been since I've read something:

    I think that you're handling Nukka's new situation pretty well. She is starting to adapt but you can tell it's because she has to and there is...
  6. Thread: Spirit Wolf

    by ChesCa
    Replies
    35
    Views
    60,546

    Re: Spirit Wolf

    Hmmmm.....the story's intriguing, but overall it's kind of weak.
    Here's my thoughts:

    The main character is being none too subtle about how she feels about her sister's wolves and how she doesn't...
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